Single Parents: You ARE Worth Something!

Let me start at the beginning. In 1995, I became the proud parent of a beautiful son named Matthew. But, like so many young women, I was destined for the next 10 years to be virtually alone. His father, while initially around during the first 2 months of my son's life, forced me to eventually go the completely SINGLE route. To say that it was difficult would be an understatement.

Fortunately, I had my parents to support me. By that, I mean, that they gave me emotional, as well as, some financial support. They stood by me during that rough time, and did not judge me cruelly for the hand that the Fates had dealt me and my son. They loved us anyways. Others were not nearly so supportive.

Some employers don't seem to care one way or another whether they have Single parents working for them. For many of their employees, being on Welfare or State Assistance is a way of life. But, for some employers, if you, as a Single parent, are on Welfare, they think you are worthless. That's right. Worthless! And you know what? NO YOU ARE NOT!(Sorry, but I was a little mad when I wrote this)

I am here to tell all the Single parents out there, that, you are not worthless. That's right. You're not. You are a person. You are important. You have skills that any decent employer should appreciate. Your personal problems don't make you any less of a person. So, you're on welfare. So what!!! Life is hard sometimes. Besides, if you are working, aren't you paying into the very programs that are helping you? That's what I said! And believe me, it hurt to be called worthless.

When my son was 2 ½ years old, I went to work in a retail Carpet store, which will remain anonymous. They know who they are. It was quite an experience, let me tell you. At the very beginning, I had an appointment with the Public Aid office. I had it IN WRITING. One of the owners wanted to fire me on the spot for having to take a morning off. Excuse me? The State is requesting my presence at a meeting that will help me feed my son, and you want to fire me? You're paying me $7.50/hr. and are telling me in the next breathe that I am not worth that amount?

I should have seen this one coming. But, fool that I was, I needed the job, and what little money it provided. So, I stayed. For 13 months, I stayed. I worked 6 days a week, and missed out on a lot of things with my son. I was no different that millions of other people working for sub pare wages and even less respect. I believed my boss when she told me I was worthless. That I would never amount to anything because I was a Single parent, and that I didn't deserve what she was paying me. But, then I began to see what was going on. I began to realize that I was letting her bring me down. She was jealous of my having a son. You see, she and her husband couldn't have Children. And here I was, with a child that I really shouldn't have had, and she had none. She was jealous. I sympathize with her plight. I really do.

Excuse me? How dare you judge me for what I only had partial control over? How dare you insult my intelligence and demean me for being a Single parent. Single and not by choice either! So, I did what I should have done right from the beginning. I started looking for another job. I demanded my vacation at the end of my 1^st year there. Oh, she didn't like that! She actually expected me to call it off. I didn't. About I month later, I procured my new job, for nearly $3 more per hour, and I quit!! Yep. I quit. But, being the ethical person that I am, I gave her 3 weeks notice, rather than 2 weeks. That wasn't a great idea either. It got nasty. Really nasty! Needless to say, I learned my lesson. And I never had problems with anyone again. Most, if not all, of my employers have been supportive, rather than judgmental. Some of them had been where I was. So, they really had no room to judge.

That being said, if you are a Single mom or dad, don't ever let anyone tell you that you are worthless. You're not! Especially, if you possess valuable skills and can offer an employer something that no one else can. If you don't have the skills, contact the financial aid office at your local college. Trust me, in this instance, being Single with a child is actually a good thing. The Government will send you to school. They did that for me.

And you know what? I may not be Single anymore, but I now possess skills that I didn't have 10 years ago. That makes me worth something! So, to that employer that said I would never amount to anything, HAH! At one point, I was making nearly $18 per hour. I was worth that much to my employer. And while I am no longer with that company, I know that there are companies out there that will appreciate me, and won't think I am worthless.

So, don't give up. Don't let anyone bully you for being in a difficult situation. It's not your fault. You didn't necessarily ask to be a Single parent. Be proud of who you are. And never, ever, let an employer mistreat you for being who you are. It's just not worth it!