Single Woman's Oath

I have been single for quite some time now and I still can't decide which I like better - being single or being coupled. But I have discovered a few obstacles in my dating path and as a result of those, I have written my own Single Woman's Oath.

THE SINGLE WOMAN'S OATH.

I am a strong, attractive, intelligent single woman and as such, I promise to myself that I will abide by the following principles:

I will enjoy the freedom that comes with being single and be grateful that I don't have to tolerate such hassles as dirty towels left on the bathroom floor, empty promises to fix the garage door and a basement full of drunken morons every Monday night during football season.

I will not watch more than two consecutive hours of the Lifetime Channel thus avoiding all movies and shows featuring scorned, bitter women that will only reaffirm my man-hating philosophy.

I will keep an open mind when it comes to online dating and personal ads but I will not feel compelled to reply to every dork, loser or dirty old man that sends me a message.

I will appreciate and possibly accept valid offers from well-meaning friends, relatives, and co-workers to set me up with one of their single friends, 'valid' being the key word. They must have a good reason to believe that this person and I will be compatible rather than picking any eligible man they may know as an effort to just get me out of the house.

I will remember that single men can be found in the least expected places and, because of this, I will at least put on a clean pair of pants and run a brush through my hair even if it's just a run to the grocery store.

I will not compare myself unfavorably to other women and think that if I only had their looks, their brains, their money, I would have a man. I will, however, remind myself that, in spite of their beauty, talent and wealth, even Christie Brinkley, Jennifer Lopez, and Halle Berry have been married two, three, even four times.

I will not let the news of any of my exes' recent engagement or marriage propel me into a pit of depression. Instead, I will be grateful that I won't be the one putting up with them for the rest of my life.

I will not waste any time wallowing in self-pity after every unreturned phone call or canceled date. I will write it off as his loss and move on.

I will not narrow my options or limit myself to dating gorgeous men with a six figure income and no baggage thus giving me an excuse to reject them all and avoid dating altogether.

I will not settle for less than I deserve, even if I do deserve a gorgeous man with a six figure income and no baggage.

I will welcome the opportunity to hang out with friends -even if they are all couples - rather than spend Saturday night on the couch, eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's and watching Saturday Night Live reruns.

I will call, message, or text any of my other single, female friends if I am tempted to break any of these principles.

I will remind myself every day that I am a strong, attractive, intelligent woman who is not defined by her marital status but by her values, morals and beliefs.

I will never, not for even one second, think that I am somehow incomplete if I don't have a man in my life.