"Sister Wives" - the Learning Channel's Attempt at Normalizing Polygamy

Unlike the Fictitious "Big Love," This Reality Show Follows a Real Polygamist

Sheryl Young
On The Learning Channel (TLC-TV), we've learned What Not to Wear, how to Say Yes to the Dress and who is The Cake Boss. We've learned a lot more about Little People (in a) Big World, and how Kate Plus Eight is doing without Jon.

Some viewers have objected to 19 Kids and Counting or Toddlers and Tiaras...but this new attempt by The Learning Channel to "teach us" something has gone just a little too far.

TLC's new show Sister Wives follows Kody Brown, a real-life polygamist in Utah, and his three wives as he begins to "court" a possible new fourth wife. This is no fictitious HBO Big Love. It's the real deal. And according to TLC, they're trying to navigate polygamy as a "normal" life in the midst of a society that shuns them. Anyone beside me see where this is leading?

Kody has three "wives" - Meri - the only one he's really married to in the eyes of Utah law - Janelle and Christine (20, 17 and 16 years respectively). Together, they have 12 children among them (all by Kody), and one on the way (Christine is pregnant with her sixth). But that's not enough for Kody. He's now dating Robyn, a divorced mother of three who was raised in a polygamous home and wants to get back in to one.

Kody and his clan don't live in a communal manner or dress atypically like the polygamists we learned about in the 2008 Texas custody case. They dress and talk like today's American society. Although Kody's fundamental Mormonism was visited in the premier, there was no mention of religion or faith-bound requirements in the two episodes reviewed here. TLC bills the show as the struggle of one man trying to juggle three wives while hiding it from the world. Poor guy. And yet, he's trying for a fourth.

Actually, he's trying with Meri's blessing. They met Robyn at a party, and Meri just knew Robyn was the one, after Kody hadn't considered anyone else in quite a while.

Sister Wives makes a bid for acceptance, but displays underlying hurt and confusion:

While the show attempts to depict Kody's polygamy as just another wonderful, loving alternative, some of the actions and remarks during two early episodes hint at a different picture (any dialogue here is paraphrased, with review speculations in italics):

-Christine says she feels that by bringing Robyn into the picture, Kody's replacing the families he already has, and that she's losing her best friend in Kody. But she knows it "needs" to happen. Why does this "need" to happen?

-When Kody is about to take the usual 5-hour road trip to visit Robyn, Janelle says even though he goes away, Kody is careful to be sure all the wives have their needs met. No... this guy's trying to meet his own insatiable "needs," dear lady.

-Kody takes two of his oldest daughters with him on the trip. It's quality time together on the road, he says, and they will baby-sit Robyn's kids when he takes her out on a date this night. Gee...how convenient. Built-in babysitters. Sure enough, as soon as they arrive at Robyn's, they ditch his daughters with her three kids and leave.

-Kody excuses this as trying to get the kids climatized to each other. You mean, desensitized to the situation? In the subsequent episode, one of these teenage daughters proclaims that if she were her mom, she'd be ripping Robyn's hair out, and when she grows up she wants a husband all to herself. You go for it, girl! Get out of there.

- Kody calls polygamy his "lifestyle." Hmmm...you mean, it's a choice, not something you "need," like your wives were brainwashed to think in their polygamous upbringing?

-Robyn, the girlfriend, says she doesn't want to hurt anyone or make the others uncomfortable. Kody's response is almost shocking...

-Kody says (in several pieces of dialogue for TLC's cameras) that hurting them and making them uncomfortable is unavoidable; and that they all know it's not rainbows and flowers watching him fall in love with another woman. He fears hurting his wives, because it "challenges" his pursuit of Robyn. They all chose this, he says, and they'll struggle with it for a while.

How about the fact, sir, that if you had one wife and kids and you were faithful to them, you could avoid this whole world of hurt and struggle by not pursuing another woman?

-But his next comeback is that his wives will be comfortable when Robyn is his wife...they're just not comfortable with him having a girlfriend. And this is logical, normal thinking?

-Christine admits there's really nowhere to put more people in the house they all share. In the subsequent episode, we see Kody and his workhorses (wives and kids, no other men to help) loading up all the contents of Robyn's house and moving her into a home one block away from the other residence. Everyone is relieved the five-hour trips will stop.

There is no mention on the show yet of where the money comes from for one man to support all these people. And the kids are in the middle of all this. Robyn just can't wait until they're considered a "normal" family.

Is another new addition to what "the pursuit of happiness" means in our Constitution fast-approaching? And who will find happiness...just the guy? Or will his wives and mal-adjusted kids be able to find some? Will America become a place where multiple wives sit around in harems waiting for the man to come by in order to "have his way" once in a while, and the children just have to endure it?

Call me judgmental, but the conclusion of this review is: Hope it has a short run.

Source: The Learning Channel, personal viewing of two episodes.

DISCLOSURE OF MATERIAL CONNECTION:
The Contributor has no connection to nor was paid by the brand or product described in this content.

Published by Sheryl Young - Featured Contributor in Politics

Freelance writer since 1997; Featured Political Contributor for Yahoo!; Tampa Tribune Community Columnist/Blogger; Chicken Soup for the Soul; Amy Foundation National Writing Award; happy wife, proud step-mom...  View profile

71 Comments

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  • JohnC5/2/2012

    I think the show really sucks there is no point to it.There is no respect there,that is very deggrating and very disrespectful.And the women are either overweight and and ugly,what is wrong with that guy.I wish they didnt show that anymore,kids are getting confused about that situation.

  • Sheryl Young3/27/2011

    Dear "truth" - in case you should return here - polygamy isn't "biblical" except prior to God giving Moses the Ten Commandments. After that, polygamy was supposed to end. What men did later was disobedient to God. Kings David and Solomon both experienced the beginnings of their downfall through having multiple wives, lovers and concubines. They weren't supposed to. But because God is merciful, he still used the men for good things in spite of themselves. In the New Testament, Jesus says "God created man and woman...the TWO shall become one flesh (Mark 10:6-7). In 1 Timothy 3:2, one of the responsibilities of a good church leader is to "be the husband of ONE wife."

  • truth3/24/2011

    But, polygamy is biblical. Why would you object to it? It was good enough for a great many biblical figures, so why isn't it good enough for you?

  • Teila Tankersley12/30/2010

    I've watched it and all I can think is that these women are missing out on having one man to love them whole heartedly, not a fan of polygamy and apparently not too many are.

  • daniel wade barry11/17/2010

    television is full of the unpardonable lifestyles.it's a shame some people can't see thru it.

  • Tracy Vanderford11/16/2010

    Enjoyed it! Your article, not the show!!

  • Stephanie Jeannot11/12/2010

    What kind of show is that? Not sure I would even turn the channel on to watch it at all. Doesn't sound like it would be that good of a show. Interesting to see how these people live but not for me to watch.

  • Vincent Summers11/12/2010

    It's Satan's world. And he's in control of it all! - 1 John 5:19. His demon angels began their activity by engaging in perverted sex (they materialized), and so it is not surprising perverted sex permeates the media and even society. Jesus said, 'That is why a man... must stick to his wife.' He didn't say he must stick to his "wives."

  • better body/Pat Anthony11/11/2010

    I don't watch this show, but realize which one you are talking about. This is what puzzles me: Why does society 'accept' a man having children w/10 girl friends that he will never support, but balk at polygamy? I am not in favor of polygamy-but such families seem to support themselves. Like Langley, I'd like to see it removed from TV, but I'd like to see a lot of things of the air ;-)

  • Langley Cornwell11/9/2010

    I have purposely avoided the show but I 100% agree with your commentary. What a crazy thing. Here’s hoping it’s yanked off the air soon.

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