Six Guidelines to Fighting Fair

Arguing with loved ones can be hard, but keeping your mouth shut can be harder. If you decide you need to bring up an issue with anyone, whether s/he be boss, friend, significant other, or child, follow these six rules to have a more productive and less painful argument.

Rule 1
Never fight because you "feel like it", you're PMS-ing, or because you're just having a bad day. I guarantee you that your day will get much worse if you seek out fights to release your excess energy. Instead, go to the gym, go for a walk, eat some chocolate, just don't use unnecessary fighting as a way to let out your anger.

Rule 2
Stay Focused! Keep on topic with your argument or you will overwhelm the other person involved. Focus on just one problem or type of problem at a time. When arguing with someone, it is easy to recall his/her numerous faults and use those faults as ammunition. Avoid making your co-arguer out to be a bad person and focus on why you began arguing in the fist place.

Rule 3
Communicate! I can't stress how important communication is to having a good argument. Express yourself fully, and don't hold back for "another time". If you save your true feelings for later, you will create an endless argument that could last for weeks. Deal with your issue honestly and clearly, move on, and forget about it.

Rule 4
Be polite! Don't scream to be heard, don't degrade the person you're arguing with unnecessarily, and don't accuse someone of something without some real proof. Above all, don't let arguments get physical. When fights get physical people can get seriously injured and painful issues will be created, not solved.

Rule 5
Agree on a daily, weekly, or monthly time to express all your concerns with your friends, family, and significant other. Try writing your issues down (not in sight of others-it'll just offend them). Treat arguments as business meetings rather than a personal insult exchange. Setting up a clear time for problem solving encourages communication and discourages continuous bickering.

Rule 6: Don't Haunt Others

After you've solved an issue, please leave it alone. Haunting other people with solved issues- such as "I remember when you so-and-so" is harmful and will just create more pointless conflict.

Follow these six rules and you will have a less hurtful, more successful argument that will leave you feeling relieved instead of angry. Remember, the point of fighting is to solve problems, not to create more issues. Good Luck!