Six Things People Rarely Tell You About Pregnancy

If you seek information about pregnancy, you will find it. However, if you walk into the situation even somewhat informed, you will be surprised by some of the things you may encounter during pregnancy. Personally, I thought I was pretty knowledgeable on the subject before I actually became pregnant. I had always known I wanted kids, so I paid attention in child development, I watched A Baby Story, and I listened to friends who were pregnant discuss their woes. But, when it came to by my turn, I was increasingly surprised by some of the things I experienced in that 40 weeks that no one ever warned me about.

Every Experience is Different: I walked in knowing this to a degree, but I felt like some things in pregnancy were a given. They had to happen. It took me almost half my pregnancy to fully accept that this was not the case. No matter how many personal stories I heard or read, no matter how many books or experts I consulted, it became increasingly clear that there was no one sure thing...not even the end result. Between differences in symptoms, pain, size, doctors, and even labor and delivery no one can accurately predict your experience. This doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to other's stories or read up on pregnancy, just know that no one can tell you what your experience will be.

People will grate on your nerves: I had heard stories of overbearing mothers and in-laws, strangers giving unsolicited advice, and the many poorly worded comments of coworkers, but when I heard these stories I always thought the complainers were exaggerating or just being overly sensitive. I mean, people generally mean well, especially family. I went through my first two trimesters avoiding all of these things and wondering what the big deal was. Then I hit the third trimester, and while I still avoided the unsolicited advice and the strangers touching my stomach, suddenly the people I was around every day made me want to scream. From the well-intentioned, "how are you feeling?" questions every day (sometimes even more than once a day from the same person) to the oh so comical "you look like you're going to have a baby" it just got so frustrating. And I knew those saying these things meant well and came from a place of caring, but it got to the point where I just wanted to have one conversation that did not revolve around my pregnancy. And it only got worse the closer I got to my due date-and then passed my due date. It's inevitable, you will be annoyed even when you know better.

Never Ever Say Never: If you read the books or websites about pregnancy, they tell you all the symptoms you can expect and usually give you a guideline of when the symptom will occur. Ignore the guidelines and realize a symptom can happen anytime. I went to 38 weeks without seeing one stretch mark and I was certain I was home free. Then sometime that week I suddenly had these nasty purplish marks on both sides of my stomach and on the inside of my thighs. I would have terrible heartburn and it would disappear for a few days and I would think it was gone only for it to rear its ugly head once again. Same would go for morning sickness all the way until my third trimester. Nothing is ever certain until the whole experience is over.

Worry is Inevitable: I always thought I was laid back enough not to worry constantly about every little thing. And, as time went on I did get better, but there were nights I would spend tossing and turning worrying about the little guy inside. I couldn't feel him for the longest time so it was easy to think the worst when a symptom would go away, or when I'd have a pain I wasn't familiar with. I figured that worry would cease once he started moving, but then it was the wonder if he was moving enough or even too much. While the internet often helped allay my fears, Dr. Google also can make you a paranoid fool. Regardless of how strong you are, you will worry about the state of your child and you will likely wait for the day for the worry to cease, only to realize you've signed on for the mommy worry for the rest of your life.

You Can Not Control the Situation: Whether you want to go au natural, eat only organic, and give your child a clean, eco-friendly environment to be born into or you prefer to eat your Snickers and want to be as drugged as possible when you go into labor, you cannot control what happens. Even if you have an induction (as I did), things may not go as planned. You should be prepared for this, accept this, and not feel guilty or cheated if your pregnancy or delivery doesn't go as planned. As long as you have a healthy child in the end, you've given them everything.

You will likely forget it all: It's only been four weeks since I had my son, and I remember pregnancy being uncomfortable, but I can't summon the memory of exactly what was problematic. I know I had terrible morning sickness, but I can't really recall all the frustration that came with spending my whole summer miserable on the couch. I would cry in frustration over heartburn, but can't remember the nasty feeling. I know people annoyed me to no end, but I can look at it with a clear head and say they were coming from a good place and I was just being overly sensitive. I remember, but it's fuzzy and glossed over.

And, in the end, you will get so tired of people telling you it's all worth it... but it is.