Six Types of Customers for the Cab Driver

I knew doing customer service for a cab company would involve typing and math efficiency, but I never realized how entertaining this job would be. Being a cab driver seems like being in a drama film. They have to deal with lies, cheating, airheads, and crabby people. Taking orders isn't boring either. The guy that sat next to me had a foot fetish. When he wasn't taking orders, he'd bewilder me daily with his foot stories and my love for sandals. Sometimes he seemed normal though. When he was on the phone, I'd watch him slap his head, tap his fingers, and sigh loudly before repeating himself for the fifth time. Why is that behavior normal? Because we both deal with six types of customers.

Customer #1 calls for a cab, finds another cab, and doesn't cancel his/her old order. When the cab driver shows up, the customer is nowhere to be found. But the good part about that is someone who hadn't called yet finds a driver with no friend. Get in!

Customer #2 calls a cab, but then decides to leave their pick-up point. They want the cab drivers to be mind readers and find where the new location is. After they realize the cab driver is not psychic and has left, he/she immediately calls us to scream into our ears about the driver "purposely leaving." The dispatcher has a few words with the cab driver, he/she grudgingly agrees to go back, and we feel bad for the driver whenever the passenger gets into the car. I'm sure the driver got a mouthful.

Customer #3 calls a cab but never knows where he/she is, doesn't know the cross streets, but always feels like the customer service representatives should know where "that White Castle's/McDonald's/tree/gate" is. This customer never wants to get off the phone to find out their closest address because they're always using their last quarter at a pay phone nowhere near the end of the street. This customer makes me remember I still have one more break and I'm going as soon as they finally hang up.

Customer #4 is the best though! He/she wants the cab driver to make stops to his/her house, the grocery store, the airport, Wal*mart, and to Grandma's house all before dropping them off at their destination and is flabbergasted when they get their total. Folks! There are no cutout coupons, two-for-one deals, or free rides (unless you're a runner, Customer #5) with taxi cabs. They're not meant to be cheap. They're meant to be fast and get you to your destination (although some have a habit of taking the scenic route). Customers #1-5 are what the drivers see when pedestrians try to rush across the street in the middle of traffic and almost get hit.

And when the cab drivers are suicidal, the reps are ready to cry, and the dispatcher has screamed out their lungs into the microphone, Customer #6 shows up. The fabulous customer that knows where they're going, which way they want to go, why they want to leave at (fill in the blank) time, always pays, and thanks the driver. I always know when Customer #6 just got out a cab. The drivers let pedestrians follow the "Walk" sign when this person is present and make me smile into the phone. That is...until tomorrow.