Six Ways to Deal with a Commitment Phobe

Most of us have run into a person who has commitment issues. This person gets really uncomfortable whenever put into situations that would lead to any type of commitment on a relationship level. It could be becoming a girlfriend or boyfriend, or becoming a wife or husband. This article will just tap the surface of ten ways to help you deal with a commitment phobic person.

1. Accept the person for who they are. If you become aware that the person you are involved with or wish to be involved with has commitment issues, instead of getting upset about it, accept it. This does not mean you have to become the person's girlfriend or boyfriend, but that you can be the person's friend. If you really want to rely on this person, you will have to accept the things that come with it, such as backing away when you become close, and/or infidelity in the relationship.

2. Learn how to spot a commitment phobe. If you know up front what you are dealing with, you will be better equipped to handle the situation. Some clues include: the person is uncomfortable talking about personal things, the person uses alcohol or substances to avoid intimate situations, he/she doesn't want you to meet his or her friends/ family, and/or the person doesn't always tell you the whole story.

3. Ask questions to find out more about this person before getting involved. Find out about his/her past. If the person had a rough childhood, such as the loss or absence of a parent, this could spell commitment issues later. If the person was cheated on, or had a bad marriage, you might be in for commitment issues.

4. Get to know the person slowly. If you develop a relationship with this person as friends first, eventually the person may feel comfortable being close to you. However, realize that the commitment phobe may have deep seated issues that mean he or she may never be comfortable being close to someone.

5. Realize that it is not your fault that the person is backing away from commitment. The commitment phobe will try to blame you, telling you that they just don't like you, or that you are smothering them. While it could be a good idea to give them space, they might feel smothered even if you haven't talked to them for weeks!

6. Give the commitment phobe time and space, to realize that it is okay to be close to you.