Six Ways to Learn to Love Yourself

You've probably heard how you can't truly love someone else until you learn to love yourself. I fully believe in that statement; you should always be your favorite person. It's amazing how everything around you changes for the better when you reach that point, including your relationship with your partner. Many of us focus on strengthening our relationships with others, it only makes sense to improve on and love the one we have with the person we're with every hour of every day -- ourselves. It's going to take effort and requires altering your mentality, but there are several ways you can learn to really love yourself.

Counteract your negative thoughts

You can be your own worst critic and destroy your confidence more than anyone else can. The very minute you start to have a negative thought about yourself, stop and change it to something positive. It's not going to be easy; you'll have to alter your mentality and change a habit you've likely had for awhile. The more you do it, the easier it will be to start thinking of the positive rather than the negative. This will even be beneficial for your relationship -- when you feel like something you say to your partner is going to come out negative, change it in a way that will start a conversation rather than an argument.

Let go of negative influences

Being around negative people influences your mood which, in turn, has an effect on other areas of your life. Separate yourself from anyone who brings you down. It may not be easy, especially if you consider yourself close to those people, but you need to surround yourself with those who make you happy and bring positivity into your life. As much as it hurt to let go of certain people, I later realized that being happy with myself was much more rewarding than trying to rationalize why having them in my life was a good idea.

Gather your positive influences

Collect anything that makes you feel better about yourself -- pictures, awards, notes from others, or inspirational quotes -- and put them together in a large photo frame or into a scrapbook. Include things you'll want to look at daily, not just sporadically. This can inspire you to love yourself more, especially on bad days when you need it the most. Keep a separate scrapbook or photo frame for your relationship with your partner -- you can use it when you need a pick-me-up or when the two of you are going through a rough patch.

Work on what you're not happy with

As great as it is to make a list of your positive traits, making a list about what you don't like is useful as well -- but don't stop there. Instead of just writing down what you want to change, write down how exactly you're going to change it. There's so many ways to improve on things you don't like including taking classes, working out, meeting new people, learning new skills or finding a new job. The important thing is to focus on changing things for the better and feeling good because of it, not focusing on the negative.

Do more for yourself

When was the last time you did something for yourself? If it hasn't been within the past several months, you need to take more personal time. It's not going to totally make you love yourself, but it certainly helps. Some options to consider include getting a manicure and pedicure, getting a massage, getting a haircut, buying yourself a present, going for a run or swim, spending a few hours reading a book or indulging in your favorite dessert once a week. I rarely used to do anything for myself, now I make sure to take more personal time and not feel guilty about it. It's almost like I feel rejuvenated afterward, which helps me to put more positive energy to other areas of my life. Take time for yourself -- you're important and you deserve it.

Forgive yourself

This has been one of the most difficult things for me to deal with. I make my fair share of mistakes, but once I do, I deal with them accordingly and tell myself that I need to not dwell on them, but instead, learn my lesson and not repeat them again. It's made a huge, positive difference. Forgiving yourself for your mistakes is one of the most important ways to learn to love yourself. This doesn't just apply to the mistakes from your past, but also learning that it's okay to forgive yourself for any you make in the future. There's not one person who's never made a mistake and there's not anyone who's perfect. The key is to learn from your errors and do everything in your power to not make them again. Start every day as a blank slate -- forgive yourself for anything you've done in the past and instead, concentrate on today, love yourself and improve your life.

Focusing more on yourself isn't selfish. You may not realize it, but when you truly love yourself, all that love and positivity can transfer to those around you as well as other to areas of your life. Helping others feel more happy and loved is incredibly unselfish. Don't expect changes overnight, but don't give up on yourself either -- the more you work on it, the more likely it is to happen.

More from Lauren:

11 Things a Woman Should Never Apologize For
8 Things a Man Should Never Apologize For
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