Sky Harbor International Airport: Chalk-Voyeurism

I've already opened all my bags, taken off my shoes and discarded my lethal bottle of pop and potentially explosive tube of toothpaste. Now you want to see the image of what I justify in the mirror each morning? Ok, fine. Whatever keeps the line moving. The less time here means the more time I get to profile other passengers.

On Friday, February 23rd 2007, the Sky Harbor International Airport, in Phoenix, AZ unveiled a new and voluntary x-ray machine that scans people through their clothes and checks for no-no's. We're not forced to walked through it, but should your completely un-profiled self be pulled from line for a secondary search, it's an option. Old ladies and children are no exception, right Mr. Smerconish? We're all suspects.

In fact, a lot of people who used the new SmartCheck machine really didn't seem to mind and have responded with favorable opinions. Many appreciated its quickness while others just don't like the pat-down option.

The TSA has assured us that passengers' privacy has been handled properly and with complete professionalism. Users are asked to step into a machine and take the "I surrender" position while beams a low-energy x-ray are processed by software to search out metals or elements such as nitrogen that are found in explosives or weapons. Additional privacy software is used to intentionally blurs the image, creating a chalky outline of a body. A sexy, erotic chalk outline.

Enter: The American Civil Liberties Union

"It's a virtual strip search without the whole "cheek-spreading" part!" They proclaim.

Others fear the machine could be used for secret research by insecure white males looking to dispel a certain urban legend attached to black men.

So maybe it is a virtual strip search- but have you seen the image that screeners get to look at? It's nothing to get worked up over. Literally.

No images are saved and no 8x10 prints with a western-themed background are available. This is a one-time shot through the machine for a quick looky-look. What's the problem? Airport screeners are numb to the images and they don't care about your figure. Nor will they jump out of their seat just to point you out in the crowd and laugh. And actually, they're probably afraid to get caught staring for fear of being pointed out and laughed at.

We live in a world that not's nearly as safe as it was twenty years ago. Technology as sophisticated as this should be embraced.

Someone at the American Civil Liberties Union has a small penis and likes to travel a lot.