Sleep Solutions for Toddlers

I am not of the school of thought that says, "If your child cries while falling asleep, you are an insensitive parent." I also don't believe that a parent must wield the control by having his child "cry it out". I would like to believe that I am a balanced person in the area of parental control vs. child need. One cannot be sacrificed for the other, they must work together to form a cohesive whole for parenting.

Toddlers are often unpredictable in their sleep patterns. Some may go a year without waking during the night. Others continue getting up during the night from infancy until grade school. For the child who has slept through the night in the past, but it going through a phase of night-waking, here are a few suggestions.

1. Communicate. Even if your child cannot verbalize his thoughts, talk to him when he comes into your room, or awakens crying for the first time. Do not simply command him to go back to sleep or scold him. Likely, your child is having dreams or stress that are initiating his wakefulness. Ask your child questions. "Are you afraid?" "Is something bothering you?" "What are you thinking about?" Even if your child cannot comprehend these questions, hearing your calm, reassuring voice will do more to comfort him than scolding or demanding.

2. Be consistent. If your child's mid-night activities have become a regular occurrence, develop a game plan and stick to it. Some parents choose to pick their child up and take him back to bed each time, for instance. I think that this may be unwise in the long-run. If your child forms getting up at night as an attention-seeking habit, carrying him to bed will do much to encourage him to keep it up. I think it is better to tell your child from your bed that he must go back to sleep. If you are concerned, as I was, that your child won't be able to pull his covers over him again, wait a few minutes and then go and check on him.

3. Know if discipline is appropriate. Children, though we love them, are born manipulators. Parents must be able to discern if their child is getting up at night out of fearful anxiety, habit, or a desire for attention. You determine if his reasons are appropriate and be willing to enforce your conclusions. The more attention you give your child when he gets up, the more likely he will be to make it a regular habit. Decide how you want to deal with it, but remember: You will live with the consequences.

For more information on this important topic, get a copy of Richard Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems.