Sleep Tight, Ya Morons!

After Stradlater beat the hell outta me, I just laid on the floor for a while. Stradlater had left. I thought of all the childish things I had said, "Wash your own moron face." I just wanted to die. All of a sudden, I felt my bloody face get real hot and I started bawling. I mean, I couldn't even stop. Like a baby. I don't know what it happened, it just did. I wondered what would happen if some of the other guys hear me bawling like a real softie, so I tried to control myself but I couldn't.

Boy was I depressed. I felt so crummy I wanted to jump outta the goddamn window. I remember when I was at my old prep school, Elkton Hills, there was this one kid that committed suicide. Jumped outta the goddamn window. Poor bastard. I saw his body on the ground. Nobody would cover him up, except Mr. Antolini. I would have jumped out, but at Pencey there was no Mr. Antolini around to cover up my guts and stuff if I jumped. All the phony bastards would just stand there doing nothing. What a bunch of morons. I can just see them all standing around watching the show. Stradlater probably wouldn't have even come down to see what had happened. He would probably be standing in the mirror putting my gel in his hair, shaving his face with the crummy old rusty razor he has, and be checking out his sexy built body. Sonuvabitch. And Old Ackley, he would probably just be standing there looking like a deer in headlights not knowing what the hell to do. Probably be picking at his pimply face.

Well anyway, I was just lying there in a pool of blood. Didn't even get up to wash the blood off. Just needed someone to talk to. I knew Ackley was still up. I started crawling across the floor into his room. I really didn't feel like sleeping in the room with Stradlater that night and Ackley's roommate was outta town, so I thought I could just sleep there.

As I was crawling into his room, I felt something under me. Ackley's yellow toenails. Jesus Christ. What a prince. Why can't he just cut hit toenails over the trashcan like the rest of the world? Annoys the hell outta me. Phoebe tells me I need to stop swearing so much. Why the hell should I? Phoebe's a great kid. You would like her, you really would. She's gotta be the smartest kid her age. She has this really shiny ginger hair, just like Allie's. I remember that baseball mitt Allie had. He loved that mitt he wrote all of these poems all over it in green ink. I still have that mitt. I've read it about a billion times. It doesn't take much to keep me occupied. I could read a timetable for hours. No kidding, hours.

Anyway, I wanted to call Jane up but I knew it was too late and she'd probably be asleep. That or her mom would ask in her stupid nasal voice why I was calling so late. I hate all those phone country-club people. And I also hate it when people like to you. I lie a lot, but I have to say I'm pretty good at it. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but I am. I hate it when people tell me I have "great potential" and all that "apply yourself" crap. Great potential. Yeah right. That really kills me. Anyways, so I was lying on the floor of the bathroom and I decided to pretend I was one of those bastards in those corny action movies that get shot, but never die. I wanted to find Stradlater and beat the hell outta him, then come back to my room and have Jane fix up my wounds like that. All the sexy bastards in those movies always have a pretty girl on their arm. I decided I was sick of Pencey. Sick of all the athletic bastards, sick of jerks like Stradlater, and idiots like Ackley. Sick of having some moron jock snap his wet towel at ass every time you're in the bathroom. I needed to get outta here.

I grabbed my bag and threw some clothes and Allie's baseball mitt in there. I got all my dough and stuffed it in my pockets. I put on my read hunters hat. I looked pretty sexy with my bloody nose and hunter's hat. Looked real tough. I ran down the hall and slid down the staircase. I didn't care anymore. About Pencey or what anyone thought of me. I took one last look at the dorms at shouted "Sleep tight, ya morons!"