Sloppy Joe's, Key West, Florida - Bar Review

In you are an Ernest Hemingway fan, you may be aware that he wrote 70% of his works while he lived in Key West, Florida. You would also likely know that he was a big drinker. The original Sloppy Joe's, now known as Captain Tony's, was one of Hemingway's favorite watering holes. He also frequented the newer version of Sloppy Joe's, located on Duval Street, right in the heart of the excitement in Key West.

We decided to hit up Sloppy Joe's on our first full day in Key West. We had driven around the city in the morning, visited the Southernmost Point, and walked around Duval Street. We stopped at Sloppy Joe's to enjoy a few cocktails and to listen to the wacky band that was playing.

All was well at first. We sat down at a table and we checked out the menus. We decided we weren't yet hungry, so we'd just enjoy a few cocktails in the middle of the afternoon on our much needed and much deserved vacation. I ordered a Sloppy Rita, made with Suaza tequila, Patron Citronge, orange juice, and club soda. Basically, it was a margarita on steroids. My husband ordered a gin and soda. I handed the server my card so she could start our tab. After one drink, I could tell that we were going to have a great vacation. I looked over at my husband, who tends to be much more high strung than I (I'm a pretty easygoing sort of person), and saw that he was completely relaxed and enjoying himself. So was I.

When I said the band was wacky, I was telling the truth. They were a band made up of just two guys; one played the bass while they other played the guitar. They both sang, and they sang about odd things.

They brought up Joe the Plumber, which had barely been uttered by John McCain at the time we went on the trip. I knew then that we'd be hearing much more about the unlicensed plumber living in my current homeland of Ohio. In honor of Joe the Plumber, the bass player said he would refer to himself that night as "Wayne the Bass Player."

They played many ridiculous and entertaining songs, including one or two that actually went beyond funny and satirical, but became just disrespectful. But hell, I was on vacation, so I didn't really care...especially as we downed our second and third drinks...I was really beginning to enjoy myself letting loose on vacation.

The bathrooms were totally clean, even as people started to get "sloppy" drunk. Since we were there at the start of Fantasy Fest, there were definitely some people cutting loose way more than we were on our vacation. I'm not exactly a prude though, so I found it all to be entertaining. The other bar patrons were very friendly and fun to be around.

I had carried my notebook along with me. I decided it might be fun to write in an old watering hole of a famous American author. I was on a roll writing poetry. I felt like I was someplace special.

The wait staff was nothing special, but they got the job done. Our original server was getting ready for her shift to end when she came over to us and said, "I'm going to be leaving, so I'll close you out until the next server gets here." I knew that basically, that meant she wanted us to close out our tab so she would get her tip before she went home. I understand that. I would want the tip, too.

So, since our initial server at Sloppy Joe's had said she was going to close us out, you can imagine why I was slightly confused when she never brought me a bill. Or why the next server who came to our table said she'd "taken over" our tab. I told her that the previous server had told us she was closing us out, but the new server insisted that she hadn't closed it out.

I was on vacation. I didn't really care who was serving me. I just wanted to enjoy myself. My husband decided to call home to chat with his folks. He came back inside to tell me that his mom was so happy for us - that we work so hard and that we deserved to have great trip like this.

And then it all went to hell. We had enjoyed our drinks, and now we were ready to go back to our hotel, change clothes, and grab some food. We asked the server to close out our tab, which she did. She handed me the bill, and I reminded her that the original server had already taken my card and started a tab with it. The server said she would go check to see if I had given them a card or not (which of course, I knew I had). She came back and told me they had no card. I told her, a bit more adamantly, that I knew the original server had picked up my card and had not given it back. She went back again to look, and found nothing. And instead of going with the "customer is always right" model of service, she came back and said, "Well, there's really no reason why she should've taken the card and then not brought it back." And that's how it went. Every time I explained to them that the server had my card, they acted like I was some moron who didn't know my head from my ass. I may have had a few cocktails, but I'm no moron.

Of course, the manager had to get involved. Not because we were being belligerent or anything like that, but because he was trying to do damage control. He said about the same thing that the server had said - that the original server had no reason to take it. We both kept saying that she may not have had a reason, but she most certainly did take the card.

I emptied every nook and cranny in my wallet and purse. My husband went back to the other places we'd been throughout the day, even though I knew I hadn't used my card anywhere yet that day. (and this was technically a debit card and a direct pipeline to my bank account) One place he went back to, called Willie T's, even gave him a complimentary shot just to be nice. Now that's the type of place I like (and as such, we went back there a couple of times).

The Sloppy Joe's manager called the original server who had gone home. She didn't answer her phone. I can understand that, because I generally don't answer my phone if I know it's work and it's after hours. However, she could've listened to the voicemail message to see that some customers had been screwed by her negligence and the other people working there weren't really helping us out any. The manager did offer to let me use his phone to cancel my card...but remember, it wasn't because he actually believed that his server walked out with my card. It was because he thought I was some idiotic tourist who had left her card behind at the last place she went to.

At one point, I think the manager offered for us to not have to pay our bill. It was kind of a cryptic message, so I'm not quite sure what he meant. But the thing was, we weren't trying to cause them any sort of problems whatsoever. We wanted to pay our bill; we just wanted to pay it with my debit card from the account where we'd put most of our saved up vacation money.

We had enjoyed our cocktails at Sloppy Joe's. We had fun for about three hours. But then we were stuck in a loud bar of hell as we waited to sort out all of this messed up business. The manager recommended that we stick around until the server called back to let us know whether or not she had our card. Again, it was perfectly obvious to me that he still didn't believe me that the server had my card.

After waiting for TWO HOURS for this girl to call back, we finally just couldn't deal with it anymore. After someone you don't know has walked off with your debit card, your main pipeline to your bank account while you're on vacation in a far away city, and she's had it at this point for at least FOUR HOURS, wouldn't you leave?!

We walked back to our hotel, where I immediately got on the Internet, found my bank's phone number, and called to cancel my debit card. The woman on the phone was exceptionally helpful, but she had one major concern: what would I do for money during the remainder of my trip? Well, gee, that was a major concern of mine, too. I told her I was hoping I could write my husband a check and take it to a check cashing place...remember, gone are the days when you can just walk inside a grocery store, write a check for over the amount, and actually get some money out.

So, about two hours after we had gone back to the hotel, I get a call and text message from the manager at Sloppy Joe's saying the server finally called back, and yes, she did have my card. I informed him, very angrily but while still remaining way more polite than I really should have been expected to, that I had already canceled the card, which was irreversible, so now I couldn't use a debit card for the entire rest of my trip. And you know what? They may have called to say that, but they also said she was going to bring it back that night, which she didn't even do. So, considering that, I would've canceled the damn thing anyway. Who would trust a random person wandering around with their debit card all night?

A different manager called us the next day to say the server had brought our card back. The manager said she really felt bad that I'd had to cancel my card. To help out, she'd called her local bank to see if they could reverse it, and they said they could. I explained to her that while that's a great for her, I had already called my bank back in Cincinnati, and they would not reverse it once it was canceled. Again, she said they really just felt so bad. She offered to cut up the canceled card for me, or she said we could still come in and get it. We told her we'd come in to get it. She said to ask for her, and that they could hopefully make our stay a little better.

To me, her offering to make our stay a little better meant that she should at least offer us a full dinner for free. I mean, her server stole my debit card, and whether or not she meant to do it or not doesn't really matter. Think about how devastating that is to do to someone. We spent $50 just on drinks in their establishment, so I expected to be treated pretty well after this fiasco. Not only did the server take my card, but then the other server and the manager didn't even respect me enough to believe that's what had happened.

We went back to pick up my card. This manager offered us a couple of cocktails. Are you kidding me? After all that, you're going to offer me one cocktail? What the "f?" And you know what? We were very tolerable and reasonable about the whole situation. Once we got back and started telling the story, our friends and family said we should've called the cops.

So, enter Sloppy Joe's at your own risk. I imagine this kind of thing doesn't happen every day, but after seeing how this establishment dealt with it, I would never spend another cent there. There are so many other fun establishments in Key West. I will stick to them from now on.