Smashburger is Good

I was skeptical about Smashburger, a relatively new burger joint in Denver. In part, this is due to its location: Smashburger is in Glendale, commonly referred to as the Armpit of Denver. And online reviews of Smashburger didn't beg me to brave it, either. In any event, two co-workers -- L. and S. -- and I tried it out on a recent Tuesday.

What I ordered:

I ate the one-third-pound Spicy Baja burger, which arrives with real pepper jack cheese, fresh (not pickled) jalapenos, guacamole and the usual red onion, tomato and lettuce. ($6.59) The burger was a bit overcooked to my liking, but unless the cow is still alive and bleeding and screaming for mommy when I eat it, I'm often disappointed. Nevertheless, it was still juicy, not heat-lamped and was hand-formed with the evidence of a master backyard BBQ chef at play. The egg bun was terrific, too: moist, warm with the best bit of crispiness on the edges.

L. said he was disappointed in me and S. because we order burgers with guacamole and jalapenos, which distract from what a burger should taste like. Traditional ingredients, he says, should only be piled on burgers; otherwise, you don't get the intended effect. I'm not sure what he ordered, but I swear I saw a Pop Tart on it.

I also ordered fries for $1.49 extra. They're average. For the most part, fast food fries are fast food fries. They're $2.49 if ordered separately, which is a bit of a rip-off.

I could have ordered another burger and eaten it easily, but I was afraid the cute girl sitting near us with the one-armed man might think I was a pig.

And I am a pig, but my excuse is this: That Thing in your brain that tells you when you're full? I don't have that Thing. But the Thing that lets you eat and eat and eat and still lose weight? I have that Thing. That's why I can go back to Smashburger and probably will soon.

Other Good Things about Smashburger:

* The water was decent.

* The atmosphere is clean and appealing, and its heavy reliance on the color red would entice many Nebraska Cornhusker fans. It's a cross between a '50s diner, a Disney World eatery and a high school cafeteria from The Jetsons.

* It was crowded, but the service was efficient, accurate and friendly. This is probably facilitated by the big menus at the start of the line and the menus on the ordering counter. Too many fast food patrons order their food when pressed right at the cashier, which slows down the process. Not at Smashburger.

* One of the female cashiers looks a lot like Jim Carrey's love interest, Natascha McElhone, in the Truman Show. I don't mention this because I find her particularly attractive; but businesses earn Extra Points for employing celebrity lookalikes. (Incidentally, I tried convincing my two lunch mates that Natascha McElhone also played Matthew Broderick's love interest in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. They believed me, but I was wrong. That was Mia Sara.)

* Two guys -- I'm guessing they were either brothers, twins or, perhaps, doppelgangers -- scurried around the tables, dishcloths in hand, asking customers about the quality of their orders, how their days were going and, maybe, if their hopes and dreams were fulfilled.

Other Bad Things about Smashburger:

* The booths are a tad on the small side to fit four people.

* The pickle arrived ON my french fries, which made some of them soggy and pickle-tasting. (One should wonder: Has anyone yet tried fashioning fries out of cucumbers?)

* The tomatoes were close to frozen, making me guess that they just came out of the, well, um, freezer.

* The cute girl went home with the one-armed man while I went back to work with L. and S.

Smashburger locations at

1120 S. Colorado Blvd.
Glendale CO. 80246
303.757.4301

Sunday - Thursday 6am to 10pm
Friday & Saturday 6am to 11pm.

and

3356 Youngfield St.
Wheat Ridge CO 80033
303.233.2234

Sunday - Thursday 6am to 10pm
Friday & Saturday 6am to 11pm.