Smoking: Diary of a Quitter

Day 1 - I have decided to quit smoking today. As of 7:30 this morning I am a non-smoker. I'm really excited about quitting. I am going cold turkey. *Bob, my husband (what a sweetheart), has taken away my keys to the car so I can not go buy more cigarettes. Haha. He is so supportive.

Day 2 - It certainly is an adjustment trying to deal with certain situations without having the crutch of nicotine. Things that I never realized got on my nerves are now obvious. For instance, here I sit writing in my journal while Bob sits across the room, watching television, doing that incessant breathing...in and out, in and out...until I just want to walk up to him and choke him until he's blue in the face...and then look for the car keys.

Day 3 - I have searched everywhere in this stupid house for those stupid keys and can't find them anywhere. I tried to search my husband while he was taking a nap but the cat jumped on him to see what I was doing and woke him up. So I pretended I was covering him up with a blanket. Stupid cat. I'm seriously tempted to bash Bob over the head and knock him out cold so I can see if they are in his pocket. Supportive, my ass.

Day 4 - Bite me.

Day 5 - It is ten degrees below zero outside with a wind chill factor of 25 below. I attempted to walk to the nearest store to get some cigarettes, but the wind and cold blinded me and I ended up walking into a telephone pole. So I turned around and came home. Stupid wind. Stupid pole.

Day 6 - Found an old cigarette butt in the car ashtray. The car I don't have keys for. I smoked it. I don't care. It tasted disgusting, but I felt it was a small victory for me. Ha! That controlling SOB I married didn't think to dispose of that ashtray...dumbass.

Day 7 - To top everything off beautifully, I now have PMS.

Day 12 - It would seem that in the process of quitting you tend to get absent minded about certain things. I misplaced my journal, which is why I haven't written in a while. I finally found it in the freezer. I also haven't seen Bob for a few days now. Good riddance, I say. I wonder if the coward went to live with his mother.

Day 13 - I have noticed that I am starting to be able smell things better. I don't see this as a good thing, because I can now smell something fetid in our house and I'm not sure where it's coming from. Bob's mother called today looking for him. So I guess he's not living with her, unless the old bat is more absent minded than I am right now.

Day 14 - Found out where that smell is coming from. I also found out where Bob has been. Can't say anymore at this point. (Note to self - check about renting a wood chipper) On a positive note, I finally found the keys...

*In the interest of privacy, fictional names have been used...and the rest is made up, too.