Smooooth Legs: Better Than Shaving?

I'm not easily swayed by infomercials, but seeing a new hair removal product did at least pique my curiosity. So when I saw a nice woman giving demonstrations of the "Smooooth Legs" product at the mall, I decided to give it a try.

The "Smooooth Legs" product (yes, that really has 4 O's in it) says on the package that it is "Europe's Leading Hair Removal Product". While I'm pretty sure that is quite a bit of a stretch, I decided to let the lady at the mall give it a try on me. So she takes one look at my unshaven calves and starts there to prove the product she is trying to sell me will actually work. It takes her forever and she only gets a small spot. I decide that even though this is time consuming, I could always do it while I watched TV or read an audiobook or something. So I am sold on this $30 kit.

Supposedly, this kit is "easy, safe, and painless" and it works on your legs, arms, underarms, bikini area, and even upper lip according to the saleswoman. Basically, the kit is just two rubber paddles that you attach adhesive microcrystal paper (aka sandpaper) to. Your arm muscles provide the power as you go in mini-circles along your hairy skin to supposedly pull out the hair at the root. In addition, you get the added benefit of exfoliation. So I decide to finish up my calves first to try out the product.

After 30 minutes, my calves are finally all dusty and it appears that at least most of the hair is gone. The dust is from all the dead skin cells that are removed. All I can say, is thank goodness I had that many dead skin cells. I jump in the shower to hose off the disgusting dead skin cells and then take a look at my beautiful smooth legs. To my horror, blood starts oozing out of every pore on my calves! My legs sting like crazy. The saleswoman had said not to use lotion for at least 2 hours after hair removal. She said nothing about not hosing off the dead skin cells. So after a few days, the scabs are finally gone and I decide to give the product another chance.

My legs just weren't up to getting experimented on again, so I decided to go for other areas. In the kit, one paddle is smaller than the other so that it is easier to use on underarms, the bikini area, and the upper lip. I am lucky in that I really don't have enough arm hair to need hair removal there. So I go for my underarms with this evil product. I try to withstand the pain, but I just end up with more bleeding. This time it was even worse, the hair wasn't even removed! Feeling the need to sufficiently test this product, I go for the bikini area. This didn't result in removed hair either, just a bunch of lovely red bumps! Ouch! Needless to say, I was not about to test this thing on my upper lip.

Being extremely disappointed in myself for spending $30 on this product, I did end up finding a use for it. So if you're reading this and thinking that it really stinks that you already have one and can't return it, there is one thing it works for. You know those calluses on your feet? Well, it turns out that callused foot skin is tough enough to handle this product! It wears down the skin much more slowly than a traditional foot file, so you can't make mistakes as easily. I used it to file down my feet to a nice smooth finish. Maybe they should rename this product "Smooooth Feet" or something.

So much for "soft", my legs were scabby. So much for "painless", my legs felt like they were being repeatedly stung by bees by the time I was done. In fact, this didn't even do a particularly good job at removing hair. It didn't work on the underarms or the bikini line. On my legs it only got about 50% of the hair off. What hair it did manage to remove, quickly grew back. Obviously the hair was just sanded off, not pulled out by the root. That would have hurt even more. I think I'll take the risk of cutting myself with a razor, at least that only happens once in a blue moon. With the "Smooooth Legs" product, you're practically guaranteed a painful and unsatisfying result. Don't bother trying this one girls, it just isn't worth it!