Sniglets Revisited

I'm not sure how many of you recall the SNL comedian Rich Hall from the mid 1980's, but Rich invented "Sniglets", defined as "a word that should be in the dictionary but ain't"

My favorite was "Essoasso", defined as any person who drives through a corner gas station to avoid stopping at the intersection. Here are some more Sniglets, 21st century style!

Spleezers: (splee-zirz) n.- Those things women use to curl their eyebrows that look like a cross between a bottle opener and a gynecological exam tool.

Floor Money: n.- The pennies, nickels and dimes you see on the ground at the mall and the supermarket that no one bothers to pick up, as in "Honey, don't put that in your mouth, it's floor money!"

Sqawngers: (skwan-gerz) n.- That outdoor grilling, giant tweezer looking thing that you use to pick up and flip steaks, as in "Sqawnge that pork chop for me, willya?"

Dashboard Delicatessen: n.- The half eaten Snickers bar and the bag of fruit chews you keep on the dashboard of your car.

Buck Muncher: n.- That guy/girl at work that always bums change from you for the vending machines.

Blubber Band: n.- The elastic band in your underwear that wears through and leaves an impression on your skin.

Loom of the Fruit: n.- That reverse underwear logo image left on your belly by a Blubber Band.

Splutch: (spu-lutch) v.- The sound made when you try to drink a milk shake straight from the cup and it suddenly blobs onto your face.

Bottom Fries: n.- The French Fries left over on the bottom of the fast food bag, always cold and hard.

Rasty Pu: (rastee-poo) n.- The morning result of a large, spicy late night Chinese meal.

Phonus Interuptus: (fone-us-inter-up-tus) v.- The interruption of a cell phone call by a dead battery or driving under a bridge.

Resume Envy: n.- Being envious of another's resume, as when sitting in a job interview room.

Scudge: n.- Any repulsive built up residue, as in the scudge on a phone handset, doorknob, light switch or hot sauce bottle.

Winter Bug: n.- Any sluggish, easy to swat insect that mysteriously appears out of season, as a housefly in the winter.