SNL -- Saturday Night Live -- Sketch by Sketch Review -- Taylor Lautner & Bon Jovi -- 12/12/09

Will Forte, Jason Sudeikis and Bill Hader play Edwards, Sanford and Ensign, complaining about the coverage of their adultery vs. that of Tiger Woods. As is typical with SNL's political sketches recently, it's toothless, pointless, and unfunny.

Monologue -- Taylor Lautner -- 8

One of the stars of New Moon has me saying, "who?" Taylor makes reference to being in a relationship with a country singer.... Reba, making a callback to the Reba McIntyre video with Kenan Thompson earlier in the season. Then Lautner talks about his girlfriend Taylor Swift and his not standing up for her at the VMAs when Kanye West crashed her award. THis leads to Lautner doing some impressive martial arts moves on a mannequin Kanye West. An amusing opening.

College Football Introductions -- 7

Football players film their introductions for the Rose Bowl telecast. Taylor Lautner plays a third string quarterback who overthinks his 2 second video, trying to play to the camera instead of just appearing natural for the camera. Goofy and funny.

New Baby -- Sue, the "I Love Surprises" Lady -- 5

Kristen Wiig decides to try something new this week, playing Sue, a high strung lady with exaggerated movements and a funny voice. Oh wait, that's every Kristen Wiig character, and hey... she's done this before. It seems as though with each passing week Wiig has started to channel the worst of the most obnoxious characters played by SNL women over the years. The only part that made me laugh was how she decides to make her exit in the middle of the sketch. The rest is simply loud and obnoxious.

PGA Tour Message -- 4

The head of the PGA Tour tries to assure viewers that everything will be okay without Tiger Woods, while pointing out the obvious lack of big names to turn to. Slight.

Sparkle Players Choir -- 1

A bunch of middle schoolers try to perform "hip" Christmas Carols while being heckled by Andy Samburg. Pointless, loud, and not a laugh to be found.

PGA Tour Message -- 8

The second commercial is funnier, building off the loss of sponsors in the first commercial, it shows that the PGA Tour is sponsored by Bernie Madoff, the movie Old Dogs, and Major League Soccer.

Bon Jovi -- Superman Tonight -- 3

How is it that this 80's hair band is still with us after 20+ years? Singing about heroes over a riff that sounds like an unholy marriage between the Jovi and U2. Snooze.

Weekend Update -- 4

Many of the jokes center around Tiger Woods, including Nassim Pedrad as "Mistress #15". Fred Armisen shows up to do yet another (insert special ethnic type) comedian. As expected, it sucks, but Armisen gets to mug, which he seems to enjoy. It goes on for about 38 minutes too long.

Best Line -- If you sleep with a prostitute at the Global Warming summit, make sure you cap your emissions.

"President Obama presented an award to Bruce Springsteen saying, "I'm the President, but he's the boss." At which point, Springsteen ordered our troops out of Afghanistan."

Team Edward vs. Team Jacob -- 6

Taylor Lautner playing a girl, won't be a lab partner with Jenny Slate because he is Team Edward, and she is Team Jacob. To settle the matter they are asked to debate the issue in front of class. Jenny Slate blows her bit, saying Bill Hader's lines. Taylor's funny criticizing his character. Could have been a bit more hard hitting in its skewering of Twilight fans.

PGA Tour Final Message -- 7

Jason Sudeikis is drunk in this last commercial, cheering the PGA Tour sponsors that include "Seltzer" and "The Letter Q". An amusing end to the bit.

Two Kids Share Yogurt -- 7

Taylor Lautner and Abby Elliot play two teenagers in a mall eating frozen yogurt. Keenan Thompson keeps sliding through to play a smooth talking Cupid to the couple, but Taylor keeps messing it up. Strange, but not particularly funny, but entertaining.

Bon Jovi -- When We Were Beautiful -- 4

U2 called and wants their sound back.

Doorbells and More -- 5

Jenny Slate plays an odd ethnic type pushing talking doorbell rings with her voice on them. Silly. Jenny seems to be a bit flustered again.

Overall -- 6

Taylor Lautner looks relaxed enough to have been able to do more than what the writers gave him. In the end, this episode was just an average mediocre SNL, watchable, but not memorable.