So You Decided to Coach Club Soccer: Part III

So it's time for your first game and you're nervous. I've got news for you. That coach you see on the other end of the field is nervous, too. But his shiny sweat suit and brand spanking' new coaches' shirt is hiding his sweat--and beer belly.

Your first game

Game time! Are you ready for this? (cue music)
You've spent weeks, hopefully, drilling your kids on the importance of passing the ball to the really fast kid up front whenever they come in contact with the ball. But you may have wanted to show them how to play defense. For that, read my upcoming article "So You're Ready To Teach Defense. Ha!" for an idea on how to do that.

Again, in pre-game warm-ups you need to show the kids you care and you as a coach need to stay confident. Hide your beads of sweat forming on your forehead with a cap and wear lots of club gear. (Every club has club gear; it makes the coach feel more important, especially before the game starts)

Limit your pre-game warm-up to three things. Ask the players to arrive 45 minutes early. This allows them to have time to put their gear on and to relax. This does not mean the coach has to sequester them for 10 minutes, nor does it mean that the coach has to field tons of questions from overzealous parents. And you should have time enough to accomplish everything so the kids are properly warmed up. One, a light jog and calisthenics. Two, a game of keep away tying into what your game plan is. Three, a small-sided game tying into what your game plan is.

If the other team has a kid performing a bicycle kick in warm-ups at U11 (this actually happened) you need to stay composed in spite of your undying fear of this wunderkind lighting you up for 20 goals. Remember, the team is a reflection of you and so if you are nervous they will be, too. If you must cry, go cry to your wife.

Me: But he has a kid doing bicycle kicks, honey! Wife: (Sighs.)

By the way, although the kid did perform a bike in warm-ups he did not score a goal in the game. I worried for nothing!

Now back to the action: as your team huddles before kickoff, you have the better of five seconds or three sentences to get your point across to your team. I use three keys to the game but everyone has their own approach. I choose to talk to my players, while others scream. It just depends on what you like, really and whether or not you are prepared to defend yourself.

Once the game has started it is best to have a seat for the first five minutes and then correct any problems you see. But you need to do this one player at a time. We'll go through this step-by-step, starting with what you should not do.

Me: What in the hell are you doing out there? Kid: Mommy! (SLAP!! BAM!!!)

Now, this is what you should do. Me: What were you trying to do? Kid: Coach, I thought I had the shot! (Editor's note: Every kid thinks they have the shot. This is part of the game that you have to understand!)

So the easiest way to fix problems on a soccer field is by adjusting the behavior of one player, through a healthy discussion with the player. You should always sandwich your criticism of the player and we'll go through it step-by-step, first pointing out what not to do. Me: What in the hell are you doing out there? Kid: Mommy! (SLAP!! BAM!!!)

Me: You kicked a** bro, but then you sucked before you pulled your head out of your a**. Kid: Well, you suck anyway, Coach, you stupid a**!!! BAM!

Now, instead of agitating the child, try this on for size, Coach. Me: I liked what you were trying to do, even though it didn't work out and the shot was a good one. Kid: Thanks, Coach.

See! You can learn from your mistakes, even if it takes years. Or you can fix the problem by substitution, which in US Youth Soccer is unlimited. This is good because sometimes you don't even have to say anything to the player that just gave up the game-winning goal! And you give the player time to breathe, relax and pull a drink of water toward his lips while you clutch at your heart and feel somewhat numb and in pain.

Once the game reaches halftime the general rule is to let the players grab a drink and just before the second half, pull the team aside for another brief and concise discussion. You should go over three things and again you have five seconds to say your peace. Nothing will kill the spirit of the team faster than a coach on a five-minute rant, thus ruining their time to regroup and, most importantly, recover. Recovery time is crucial to a soccer team both on the field and on, in part to the nature of the sport.

If this were American football then I could see screaming at them because nobody likes a wimp, you know. But it's not; it's futbol and there are laws and regulations. The parents will see to it that you know this, too. Particularly if they're from a country that has played the game for centuries. It's a brave new world on this well-manicured grass field surrounded by Nike, Adidas and Gatorade kick boards and you are basically a baby in club clothing.

Halftime snacks

Have plenty of fruit and water on hand, but be careful about what fruit you give to the kids! In a game this past season a mother brought red grapes and mango sodas for the halftime snack. In her country, where eating this type of thing may apparently be the norm, they may not know that all Americans don't eat those things after running for 30 minutes. By the time I returned from a restroom break the game had started and the kids were already back on the field. Just five minutes into the second half our 2-0 lead evaporated. As I glanced toward the field my team was acting strange. Kids were strewn across the field, bowled over in pain! In sum four kids had stuff running down their legs and two were vomiting. The final score was 4-2 for our opponent, in part to zero substitutes having enough common sense to not wolf down the halftime munchies. For the post-game main course the mother brought nacho cheese Doritos and chocolate bars. She may as well have brought baking soda and vinegar. In spite of these incidents I'm happy to report that the kids ate everything and so did I.

Post-game snack

First, the temptation at the younger ages will be to get the snacks. After all, that's why kids even start playing soccer at the rec levels, you know. And it's a valid point. They expect it to continue and they expect more and better munchies at club level, since they've already been through the whole routine! But, if you can get your team to resist the temptation of going for the junk food right after the game, you should have them go on a short recovery jog. This serves two purposes: It cools down the body and it reduces the heart rate. Jogging from one touchline to the other does this and so does playing keep away, so long as the players remain largely stationary. Then they can go for the snacks that they came for.

Post-game discussion after a win

Let the players bask in their success! Nothing is more irritating to kids than a coach who holds them hostage after they win!!
No: You guys were great today, but you could have been better, Billy! You guys stunk at defense today!! Now get the hell outta here!!!
Yes: 1. I'm proud of you today; 2. Great job out there, your name here and 3. See you at practice.

Again too much information kills the mood and if the team likes to let out a cheer, there's nothing wrong with that!!!

Post-game discussion after a loss

Here's the important part of your job. If you don't think a player knows that they let in the winning goal for the other team, then you shouldn't be in coaching. If they don't care then that's another issue. If you tell a team that they haven't given every ounce of effort, even though they played the whole game and exited the field sweating, then you are selling that team short and your wife is going to slap you all the way to the parking lot. And if you bring a team down that is already feeling lower than low, that in my opinion is borderline child abuse and you should be ashamed of yourself! The hardest part of coaching is telling a group of players that their efforts were valiant but that they weren't enough to win the game, with respect and class. I like to point out one good thing that each player did, and in a loss, that is sometimes hard. Sometimes the parents look at me like I'm frigging' nuts but the kids like it and leave the field believing they played an important part in the game, win or lose. And it reinforces the positivism that I like to keep around my team and the hope that there will be a better tomorrow. My wife likes it and so I'm not slapped on the way to the car AND I get to sleep in the same bed with her! Added bonus!! This approach has enabled my kids to focus on the game and not the score.

I cannot take credit for learning this on my own; you can go to www.positivecoach.org to get more information on the Positive Coaching Alliance, an organization L.A. Lakers coach Phil Jackson and some friends helped found. And by all means, if the team likes to let out a cheer even after a loss, do so!! (By this time the team will have calmed considerably and refocused their energies on other things)
And you should have ample opportunity to correct problems at the next practice before you play another game as well as field phone calls from angry parents. If you get this far, then you're well on your way to becoming a youth club soccer coach. But you've only played one game. Coaching is all about highs and lows.

(Please insert your second favorite inspirational saying here)