Social Graces: How to Make Friends and Keep Them

Do you have trouble making friends? Is your dog the only friendly face around? The questions in your head repeat over and over, what's wrong with me? What do they know that you don't? If you continue to struggle with this issue, talk about it with someone that you trust.

If you're full of self-loathing, feeling unattractive or insecure, then that's how people will perceive you. Nobody is perfect. Make the decision to love yourself, flaws and all. Now, this does not mean the prideful kind of self-love, it means that you accept yourself for the person God created you to be. Cultivate your character so that you will attract friends and keep them. Seek out friends who honor God and who will bring out the best in you.

Here are some annoying habits that may send your friends running the other way:

· Forgetting to pay attention to what someone is saying.

· Thinking about what you want to say while someone is talking to you.

· Hogging the conversation and making it about what you want to say.

· Saying things without thinking how it will come across.

· Having a negative attitude.

· Being self critical.

· Frowning.

· Getting easily offended.

· Yawning or nodding during conversation. This shows boredom.

· Yelling or talking too fast.

· Twirling your hair and biting your fingernails while talking or listening.

· Talking with food in your mouth is disgusting.

Friendship often starts with conversation. The best way to make friends is by listening to them, not just hearing them. Always keep your ears tuned in and your eyes open. Start by watching other people's faces closely. Listen to the tone of their voices. Try to know others like characters in a favorite book. What things do they like? What do they dislike?

Here are some things that will help you make friends:

· Be quiet while the person talks to you. One way to be sure you're listening is to echo or repeat back silently what the person is saying to you.

· A smile lets the other person know that you like them.

· Keep an open and easy posture. Crossing your arms and legs during conversation makes you appear nervous.

· Make good eye contact. This shows respect and that you're genuinely interested in the other person. Boredom, shyness, and lack of confidence will make your eyes shift. Although eye contact is essential, too much of it may indicate that you're staring and may alarm the other person. So, again, listening is the key.

· Take time to listen to what your friend is saying. Ask questions so that you're sure that you understand their feelings.

· Remember all the things your friends like to do and talk about.

· Watch for body signals. If you're too close to the person, he or she may move back. Some people are naturally shy.

· Practice your social graces by saying please, thank you and excuse me. This shows respect for the other person.

Think about how you can be a friend rather than the other way around.

Friends make life so much more fun. Ask God for understanding. Thank Him everyday for the friends you have.