Social Media is the Devil

This is my opinion and my feelings stems out of my experience. And, in my experience as a self proclaimed socialite with too much time on her hands constant use of social media can lead to disaster. And, I define disaster in this confession as depression.

I am a retired "go-to-girl." If a person needs a ride, anything edited, horrible advice, someone to take them to the airport or help them move I am the first one called. I use to be magical. I use to wave my wand and look out for the world while my world crumbled in no direction and ruin. The suction cuppers would use facebook to calculate when I woke up and when they were going to call and ask for a favor. So, I did myself a favor and deactivated my account. I am impossible to reach now.

I am also the early thirty-year-old woman who is crossing a long bridge filled with trials, victories and failures. My pursuit is to get to the other side. But, I keep looking back at the familiar side. The safe cozy stagnant side. My constant looking back has lead to a freeze in my movement. I am in the middle of the bridge pondering life and staring at my feet waiting for them to move.

The fearless side of me is excited about new experiences. I have been laid off. All the men I love have taught me priceless lessons. People have revealed themselves with all their beauty and ugly. And, I feel weighed down like I'm running up steps with a bag of wet laundry. Something has to change. I feel my invisible wings stretching and ebbing reminding me of their supernatural power. But, for some reason, I won't use them.

I have to admit I am on this bridge just wanting to fly. I want to just disappear and forget the bridge and just: Be. Be in this world with no "to do lists," "employment statuses," "marital statuses," or "economic statuses."

This leads me to facebook: the status machine. What is your status? Who are you? Every day I read about a person's meal, new marriage, failed marriage, hate for something, love of shoes or awesome deals on groupon.

I have to admit I sold some books and jewelry on facebook. It is a great medium if you know what to use it for. It's not the place to value your life and self worth. If you are not happy in your position, don't get on it.

I began to feel like the whole world was crossing their bridges with ease. They were making lemonade and petting poodles while I stood again staring at my feet. In retrospect, it is not facebook's fault. It's not the selfish people in my life's fault. It is my fault for not protecting my time and energy. I never took the time to build a solid infrastructure and foundation for my bridge. I never had boundaries. I should have never stopped decorating my bridge, my journey.

Now instead of paying attention to other people's needs or watching people live the quasi-good life in social media haven. I simply work on me, decorate me, and develop my personal infrastructure so that I won't be afraid of crossing bridges and the change that is inevitable in this beautiful life.