Social Skills Tips for Teens with Asperger's Syndrome

For many teens that have Asperger's syndrome socializing with others can be a challenge. To help understand what some of those social challenges are and for social skills tips for teens with Asperger's syndrome, I have interviewed psychologist Paul M. Conditt, Psy.D.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
"I am a licensed clinical psychologist operating a practice with my wife, Dr. Kristine Conditt. I became interested in Asperger's Syndrome (AS) during my internship at Texas Tech in the late 90s and have worked with it ever since.

What is Asperger's Syndrome?
"Asperger's syndrome is on the autism spectrum. It is distinctly different from autism, however, although there are some overlapping symptoms. And since these symptoms occur on a spectrum, an individual can lie at any point. To quote a parent who is involved in Asperger's syndrome advocacy, 'If you've seen one kid with Asperger's, you've seen ONE!' It affects individuals very differently. The most common symptom, however, is an inability to pick up on subtle social cues. They can have trouble interpreting others' motives. In the movie, Mozart and the Whale (which I'd recommend viewing), one of the characters explains, 'I never know what other people are thinking.'"

What are some social challenges that teens with Asperger's syndrome may have?
"Most teens, including neuro-typical ones, feel as if they are 'on stage.' They believe that everyone is watching them and judging them. For teens with Asperger's syndrome, this combines with their inability to take others' perspective very effectively. Also, they can often take things literally. Another movie, Adam (also recommended), there is a scene where he is being empathetic towards a female friend who has had a hard day. He asks her what she wants and she says she could use a hug. He stands there and stares at her. She then adds, 'Adam, I'd like for YOU to give me a hug.'

Asperger's syndrome teens often feel 'different' and adolescence is a time of trying to 'fit in.' Therefore, some teens with Asperger's syndrome develop some depression and self-esteem problems because this feeling different is only exacerbated by the developmental stage they are thrust into. A useful formula is called The 2/3 Rule. Take a teen's chronological age and multiply by 2/3 and this gives an estimate as to where s/he is socially and emotionally. Therefore, a 15-year-old would think more like a 10-year-old."

What type of impact can those social challenges have on a teens overall life?
"In my experience, the key to a successful social life for an Asperger's syndrome teen, is to be friends with people who are non-judgmental and can handle the quirks and eccentricities. The other key, both during teen years and throughout adulthood is to take the strengths they have and focus on those. Although there are no studies to support this, I personally believe that many college professors have a form of Asperger's syndrome. They have figured out how to take their strengths, such as attention to detail, and then develop PhD-level knowledge of a subject."

What are some social skills tips you can give teens with Asperger's syndome?
"For elementary-age students, we often use Social Stories that outline typical social interactions. People with Asperger's syndrome can follow logic and reason, so our trick is to teach social skills in a more rote and sequential manner. For teens, I get them to identify situations that are confusing to them. I educate them as to how their brains are wired differently, then use the logical side to develop rules that they can rely on, instead of having to read non-verbal and subtle cues that are so confusing."

What type of professional help is available for teens with Asperger's syndrome?
"A team approach is most useful. Many children and teens (although not all) have co-occurring anxiety and/or ADHD. Medication can help with these symptoms. I try to have on-going social skills groups where we design activities to not only teach the social rules, but also give opportunities to practice. For those who have sensory-processing difficulties (which is extremely common in this population), occupational therapy can help. Often, they are over-sensitive to some sensory stimuli while being under-sensitive to others. I had a 15-year-old in my office today that told me his track team friends make fun of him because he doesn't wear enough clothes during winter runs. He is under-sensitive to pain, but over-sensitive to textures of foods. He does not like 2 different foods to touch on his plate. He will eat plain spaghetti, but not with sauce.

Unfortunately, many psychologists and other mental health professionals do not have any training in PDDs (the autism spectrum disorders). Therefore, if a family seeks treatment, it is important that they ask the therapist up front about their knowledge and experience in working with Asperger's syndrome. I have developed some expertise in Asperger's syndrome, but have realized that even though there are lots of overlaps, I do not know enough to effectively treat more severe autism."

Thank you Dr. Conditt for doing the interview on social skills tips for teens with Asperger's syndrome. For more information on Dr. Conditt or his work you can check out his website on www.conditt.org.

Recommended Readings:
Tips for Parenting a Child with Aspergers Syndrome
How to Help Your Child with Aspergers Be Successful at School