Social Stress

We live both private and public lives. Many explicit rules, laws and statutes govern our public lives. Many of these rules are unspoken, so it is often difficult to determine the exact nature of them. Like personal stress, social stress affects each individual differently.

Some of the rules are blatant enough to recognize:

*Fat people are lesser beings than thin

*Old people are not that important

*If you are poor it is your own fault

* If you have educational difficulties, you should work harder.

These social rules are not set in stone, but based upon perceptions created, fostered and nurtured in our culture. A thousand ads a month are aired, published or heard on television and radio stations as well as in junk mail flyers, newspapers and magazines about weight loss and looking thinner and feeling better. Even in catalogues, women's sizes (read XL to XXXXL) clothing is modeled by women who could wear a size 4. The message that overweight people receive is they are unattractive and unacceptable.

The same can be said for growing older, financial status and education levels. We are a product not only of our society, but also of our genetic make up, choices and upbringing. Unfortunately societal rules do not take into account any factors other than the visible ones such as weight, age and wealth.

All of us experience social stress to some degree or another. Sometimes the manifestations can be very subtle like using people for personal gain or avoiding intimacy.

Everyone suffers from social stress much as everyone suffers from stress. It is how a person copes with the social pressures and stresses that is a measure of whether the experience is negative or positive.

Imagine you are a teenage girl who is genetically pre-disposed to being a few pounds overweight. All the fad diets she tries show little results and she continues to feel chubby and ungainly next to her slighter and slimmer friends. The self-image is reinforced by comments she overhears or jeers she receives. Whether real or imagined, her self-esteem nosedives and this young girl is now at risk for eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. While social stress is not the only cause, it does lay the groundwork and make a person susceptible to these and other self-image disorders. Teenage suicide is often a result of negative self-image that leads to a blinding depression and sincere belief that the situation can never improve.

Some symptoms of social stress may manifest as:

*Anger and irritability

* Depression

*Withdrawal and loss of confidence in self and/or others

*Anxiety and Panic Attacks

*Phobias

*Illnesses (constant headaches, irritable bowel syndrome, eating disorders)

*Post Traumatic Stress

*Deep personal sense of alienation/failure

*Suicide

Social stress can be reduced through learning and developing more positive ways of interacting with others. It starts with the recognition that good social skills can enhance our sense of worth and well being.

Recognizing that how we handle stress is influenced by inherited characteristics, our learned coping methods, our own attitudes and personality as well as our state of health both in mind and body; is the first step towards developing strong, positive methods for stress reduction.

Perhaps losing weight will make the teenage girl feel better about herself, but ultimately her self-image must improve before she can handle the pressure of social stress. If she cannot match physically the image she believes society wants from her, then she will be unable to cope with the stressors she encounters each day whether they are weight related or not.

Employing methods of coping such as exercising regularly, eating right, getting plenty of sleep, relaxation and reminder that many of the unspoken rules you live by are set and supported by your own beliefs and behaviors.