Socialization: A Homeschooling Parent's Concern

It's so over-cited, just the mention of the dreaded "S" word is enough to make a homeschooling parent cringe. I must admit, however, that deep down I do have some serious concerns about socialization. It's something that has been nagging at me, and I don't feel I can brush it aside or turn the other way any longer.

The fact is, I am very concerned about the socialization of schooled kids.

Maybe it's none of my business. I'm sure the parents of children who go to school are well-meaning and only want what is best for their children, even if I don't particularly agree with their educational choices. Still, there are so many things about the socialization issues at school that I find disturbing, I felt they must be addressed.

The school environment is just not natural. Think about it- 20 or 30 children, grouped arbitrarily by the year they were born, expected to sit side-by-side five days per week, while they are discouraged for most of the day from any meaningful interactions with each other. After all, we've all heard the teacher's famous line, "you're not here to socialize."

When on earth, then, will they get their real interactive social experiences? An hour at recess? A few minutes in the schoolyard before and after school? Is that really enough, before they withdraw to their home for the afternoon, and have to spend weekends and summers alone? Surely they are lacking social opportunities during these times, because it seems that many parents are concerned, and educational "experts" agree, that socialization can not possibly occur outside of the school grounds. Maybe we should begin eliminating holiday breaks so that these children are not deprived of the company of others for extended periods of time.

At least we can be sure that, in these brief moments at school between seat work, walking in lines and sitting in assembly, they will get at least some character-building social experiences. Cliques, bullying, peer rejection, peer pressure, teasing- all the things that season a child well enough to function in the adult world. If they can't learn to handle someone taking their lunch money or repeatedly putting them down or other degrading experiences , then they will certainly never be able to function in the work place. After all, these are things that adults encounter daily in businesses across America- oh, wait a minute, if an adult did those things to another adult, it would be considered harassment, possibly illegal, wouldn't it? Well, children still need to experience these things at tender ages, or they might end up escaping childhood with their self-esteem intact.

There is something that we homeschoolers can ensure our children, who spend their time growing up in the real world, can do. Be there when schooled children get out. Teach them that they don't have to raise their hand when they want to speak or go to the bathroom. Show them that they are allowed to take any seat they want when the get on a bus or walk into a room. Encourage them to choose what they want to read instead of looking for an assignment list. We can help them transition and function in normal society when their institutionalized days are behind them.

And if you're a parent of children in school who happened to stumble across this article, and find such concerns quite absurd, then you'll perhaps finally understand how homeschoolers view all the socialization arguments.