Socialization in School
Is Socialization a Reason for or Against Public Schooling?
It is true that public school children spend more time around more kids than homeschooled kids, but are they socializing? Are they truly learning how to interact with other people? The bulk of the school day is spent in highly regimented ways, with very little free time. In many elementary schools, if there is recess, it is limited to 15 minutes or less, and even during lunch time, the children are not permitted to talk very much.
What little amount of socializing that occurs is restricted to interaction within a very narrow age range, as children are kept grouped by grade. Within that group, the children tend to sub-divide by gender, and in many cases, ethnicity. Where else in life would a person only interact with people of her own age and background? This form of socializing only teaches a student how to relate to people with whom she has many things in common, but does not prepare her for interacting with a variety of people.
Within these groupings, there is a tendency towards a pack mentality, generally dominated by one child who sets the tone of the group. Children who are perceived as different are quickly identified and targeted. This leads to bullying, teasing and ostracism of the unusual child, often with tragic consequences. I have yet to hear of a homeschooled child going on a shooting rampage because of being picked on in school. I don't believe any parent wants this type of socialization encouraged, but I see it even in my own children, who quickly identified the "weird" kid when they started in school, and continually make fun of him, even after we have discussed why this is wrong. Their classmates' opinions override our family's values in this area.
Another consequence of the pack mentality is the feeling of "us vs. them": children vs. adults. The teachers and administrators are perceived as attempting to control the kids and limit their "fun". Within the group, the concept of authority figures as being suspect flourishes, particularly in older students. A relationship based on mutual respect between a student and a teacher does not create this adversarial relationship, but such a relationship is also easily overridden within the group, as the child attempts to fit in.
With regards to the naturally shy child, the common-held belief is to put them into a social setting, and they will bloom. Were this true, we would not have any introverted adults. Instead, quite often the opposite occurs, and a naturally shy child forced into an uncomfortable amount of interaction will pull further inside himself, making him more and more socially awkward. This in turn leads to ostracism and bullying. The Virginia Tech shooter was consistently described as having poor social skills, such as never making eye contact and mumbling, despite having had public school socialization.
The problems which exist in schools in the area of socialization are not of themselves sufficient reason to opt to homeschool. A parent must have the child's education as the focus for homeschooling. But the argument that a child should be sent to school in order to be socialized and to learn how to interact is fallacious. I know of more shy, introverted, or socially inept schooled adults than homeschooled adults. The majority of homeschoolers I have met have more than acceptable social skills, gained in no small part from social interaction in the real world, not within the constructs of school.
Published by Karen Kaiser
Single mom of two, accountant, writer, thinker. Trying to create the life I want and enjoy the ride. View profile
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8 Comments
Post a CommentI am sorry but most home school children are taken out of school by parents that are afraid of there children thinking for there selves. Most of these children will grow up to have one track minds, only what there parents want them to know. Don't blame schools for the people that run around shooting people up those kids have mental issues it has nothing to do with the school. And how do you know if these people are home schooled or not, its not school its the fact that these kids are messed up before there get to school. what about the serial killers no body announces that they went to school or home schooled. Every child I have ever meet in home school is very intimidated by people, you forget that most of the time they never leave the house never go out side and play with kids there on age there for they don''t know how to act. Every child should have the choice, it should not be about the parents. Just to let you know I have a daughter inlaw who was home schooled and
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Excellent article! It's nice to see a public school parent that agrees with me on this. My reason for choosing to homeschool had nothing to do with socialization and everything to do with education, although we constantly get that nagging question "What about socialization". I feel like saying, "Are you serious". LOL I do think socialization is important, however, it's not a problem for us. The children interact with people of all ages, races, religions, etc...much more than would a public schooled student and they are also allowed to work together, which is a skill greatly needed in today's workforce. Half (or more) of today's adults can't even work together properly. There is always gossip, back-stabbing, and other kindergarten nonsense going on in workplaces across America. Could this be due to poor social skills? I tend to think so.
Nice essay and VERY good points! I do think, however, that one of the potential 'downsides' of homeschooling relates to taking the child out of the 'mainstream' of child life. Now, that may be both justified and OK - but the parent choosing the option needs to consider once outside of that 'main'stream, what stream is the child being immersed in? Just a thought.
David
I think you make some solid points. If a parent is going to homeschool, however, that parent should have a socialization plan. Just because some schools do a bad job at socializing (and there are some socializing positives in most any school as well as the negatives you point out) doesn't mean it isn't an important part of the educational process.
FANTASTIC!
We know several families who home-school, and I will agree that most of them have wonderfully adjusted children. However, this doesn't make up of using incorrect anecdotal illustrations to make your point that public schools are bad at socializing. For instance, when you use the Virginia Tech shootings to make a point, don't you think that the difference in numbers could have something to do with no reports of home-schooled children gunning down class mates (53 million vs 3 million)? You say public schools have 15 minute recesses, or less; every k-8 school that I go to has a 20 minute recess in the morning and another 20 minutes after lunch. And the lunches tend to be very noisy due to high-spirited talking among the kids. The only time principals try to stem it is during rainy days when the kids must eat indoors. As for pack mentality, that's human behavior, not schools, and you can read about going all the way back to the Roman Empire, and before. Finally, Cho Seung-Hui did not kill
Standing Ovation!