Society's Affects on the Success of Teenage Mothers

My oldest daughter quite recently began kindergarten. It was an exciting occasion, with the new clothes, new routine, new friends. As mom, I expected many a conversation with other mothers as we waited patiently for our children, like dutiful servants at the children's beck and call.

Except, for some reason, the other mothers don't speak the me the way they speak to each other. I don't really understand why. We all own homes in this lower-middle class rural area, we all drive inexpensive domestic cars, we all shop at the same stores, we all have some level of higher education, we all have children of the same age. So what is it? What makes these other mothers speak slowly and make pointed, condescending statements such as 'You really do need to make your daughter take a nap'?

Could it be that I am a decade (or more) younger than these women?

You see, I gave birth to my oldest daughter at age 17, making me now 22. It is very hard for other mothers, especially those who have children that are my age or only slightly younger, to give me 'adult' status. Why is this? An initial glance would suggest simple ageism, however, the American cultural branding of teenage mothers runs quite deeper than their age.

Take a glance at the Center's for Disease Control, the Department of Human Services, and the National Institutes of Health and you'll see that there is a decidedly negative view of teenage mothers. A report from Cornell university states

"As a society, we keep on paying and paying when our teens become mothers," said Parrot, who has been working in the area of teen sexuality for 20 years and is the co-author of the 1979 manual Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention: A Team Approach.

"Too many teenage girls see themselves as having nothing to strive for -- they can't see graduating from high school because they have few role models to follow, their teachers give them little encouragement about their abilities, their families are chaotic and their friends are on drugs. Parenting looks like the best thing going, many girls think, because babies provide an immediate source of unconditional love," Parrot said.

Researchers now know that certain factors predispose girls to choose early motherhood over other goals. These include poverty, school failure, a mother or sister who was a teen mother and living in a dangerous neighborhood, Parrot said.

These seem like rather outlandish statements, considering that 18 and 19 year olds have the highest rate of pregnancy. Teenage mother are considered to be welfare mongers, uneducated and unmotivated. Study after study indicates that teenage mothers will be at a social, economic and educational disadvantage. And data continues to support this.

Has anyone ever stopped to think that this may be a self-fulfilling prophecy? After all, what do we teach our children? Rather than paraphrasing, here's an example of the basic tenet that teenage motherhood is bad for everyone

Teen pregnancy is closely linked to poverty and single parenthood. A 1990 study showed that almost one-half of all teenage mothers and over three-quarters of unmarried teen mothers began receiving welfare within five years of the birth of their first child.6 The growth in single-parent families remains the single most important reason for increased poverty among children over the last twenty years, as documented in the 1998 Economic Report of the President. Out-of-wedlock childbearing (as opposed to divorce) is currently the driving force behind the growth in the number of single parents, and half of first out-of-wedlock births are to teens.7 Therefore, reducing teen pregnancy and child-bearing is an obvious place to anchor serious efforts to reduce poverty in future generations.

Teen pregnancy is bad for the child...
Children born to teen mothers suffer from higher rates of low birth weight and related health problems. The proportion of babies with low birth weights born to teens is 21 percent higher than the proportion for mothers age 20-24.8 Low birth weight raises the probabilities of infant death, blindness, deafness, chronic respiratory problems, mental retardation, mental illness, and cerebral palsy. In addition, low birth weight doubles the chances that a child will later be diagnosed as having dyslexia, hyperactivity, or another disability.4

Children are interesting creatures, hardwired, it seems, to live up to the expectations of their parents and other adult authority figures. As a society, we see children that shun this way of interaction as defective, and label them with a disorder. The norm is for children to accept what is projected on them and assume that role. If a child is raised being told they are smart, they tend to excel academically; if they are encouraged musically, they will increase their proficiency. If they are told they are stupid, they will habitually fail.

Yet, as a society, we continue to be amazed and astounded when teenage mothers fail. These girls are being raised with the thought that teenage motherhood is the end of their world. Girls are told they will never further their education, leave welfare, or advance socially if they become pregnant. They are also told that their children will suffer economic, physical and emotional stress as the offspring of teenage pariahs. So, why then, do we continue to speak of the pandemic of teenage motherhood and its awful effects, when these girls simply live up to the authoritarian expectations?

Perhaps, as a society, we should take a step back and examine how we treat our children. As we encourage adolescent sexuality, we cannot reasonably expect that pregnancy rates will not rise in response. After all, the basic purpose of sexuality is to reproduce. Even further, we should, rather than setting our daughters up for failure, encourage our children to overcome the obstacles in their life and help them in their quest to do so.

As I write this, my grandmother is enjoying time with my two other daughters - 3 years old and 20 months old. My husband is attending a 10 hour school day of his second to last semester as university, not unlike other 22 year olds. Once I have finished writing this, I will crack open my text book and complete this week's assignments for my online college courses. Then, I will pick up my 5 year old from kindergarten, read with her for half an hour, and work on the business I own while she and her sisters play or take a nap.

What I just wrote is not meant to be amazing, but to many adults, it is. I have broken free of the societally enforced mold of a teenage mother, and that, for whatever reason, severely bothers those that cling to these ideas. You would think that hearing about teenage mothers whose only difference from older mothers is age, would be encouraging. That it would give people hope that the pandemic of teenage pregnancy is not a sentence to mediocrity. However, many do not enjoy this idea. While this statement is not representative of all, I firmly believe it is representative of many : adults do not want to support their children should they become parents themselves.

The main difference between me (many teenage mothers that I know), and the statistical teenage mother is familial support. Because, you see, when I revealed that I was pregnant with my first daughter, my mother said simply 'This isn't something that girls haven't been doing for thousands of years.' With that, began our work as a family. My parents supported us when we could not support ourselves. My mother helped me learn how to properly raise a child - a skill that most girls learned 50 years ago and rarely learn today. And, when my husband and I were in a position to metaphorically spread our wings, we did.

Unfortunately, many teenage mothers don't receive that same support, which leads them to perpetuate the negative stereotype. Society has this idea that teenage mothers have committed a grievous crime, and should be shunned. When teenage mothers are not treated in this manner, they tend to excel and do just as well, and, from my experience with friends who also had children young, even better than their non-parental peers.

With all that said, I'll close with this. The next time you see a teenage mother, please don't treat her as a social statistic. Treat her as a teenager who happens to be a mother. Motherhood is a taxing responsibility even for women in the societally approved maternal age groups. Society should not add additional stress to young girls who have undertaken such a task by treating them as ignorant, welfare-draining outcasts. These girls deserve just as much support and kindness as any other mother. Please, give it to them.