Sociological Perspectives: Motherhood vs Feminism

"The Return of the Mommy Wars: is a stay-at-home mom a traitor to feminism?" is an article devoted to a critique of the article "Homeward Bound" by Linda Hirshman in American Prospect and to the discussion of the debate over whether or not women should work out of the home or be stay-at-home mothers. Hirshman takes the stance that stay-at-moms are dangerous to feminism and are actually hindering the attempts of other women to get ahead in the working world. Young, however, argues that Hirshman is far too rabid in her criticism of the stay-at-home mom and that perhaps what is called for is a more equal distribution of work and family roles across gender lines.

This article is interesting, first, because it addresses the topics of both family and gender. This is not a surprising combination because often it is difficult to discuss the role of women in society without also discussing its impact on families and the family structure. Second, this article is interesting because it addresses a debate that many women are having with themselves and with others about the course of their lives in this day and age.

The interconnection of women and the family is not a new phenomenon. Throughout the centuries, women have generally been the caretakers, progenitors, and central hubs of the family unit, even in societies where women were viewed as subservient and little more than chattel. There is a simple, biological explanation for this. Women possess an ability that men do not and never have; the ability to produce milk for their children. This one ability tied women to the roles of homemaker and caretaker long before men ever thought specifically to subjugate them. The problem is that even though our means of survival have changed since then we, as human beings, have changed our views about certain things very little. We have progressed beyond the need for women to stay close to their children in order to feed them, and yet we have not grown out of the gender roles that need produced. Thus, we have also not grown out of our association of women with the family unit. And it is precisely because we have not grown out of that association that there is such a debate about what is truly the right thing for women to do; stay at home with the children or go out and earn wages.

There are quite a few different views on the topic of the 'Mommy Wars' (as Young terms it). There are some, like Hirshman, who believe that women who decide to stay at home and raise families rather than enter the work force are actually damaging to the status of working women and to society as a whole. The people who hold this view argue that it is a step backward in the fight for women's rights and that staying at home undermines the feminist movement. They also argue that it reinforces old stereotypes and forces the women who do choose to work outside the home to fight twice as hard to earn the status and recognition granted to working men. Another view is that allowing women to work out of the home is what is truly detrimental to society. They argue that the lack of stay at home moms is leading to the decline of the family unit and that working moms are the true reason for increases in juvenile delinquency and decreases in 'family values'.

There is yet another view, however, one that falls somewhere in between the two extremes. Young touches on it in her article. This is the view that calls for equality in the work place and at home in the family and I think this is the view I find most interesting. As Young puts it, "…but if there is an answer, it is to expand the choices available to men, not to narrow the options for women." By which she means that perhaps the solution to society's problem is not only to allow women to freely choose to stay home or work out of the home, but to also allow men the same choice. Perhaps if society did not so strictly adhere to its association of women with the family, then men would feel freer to be the caretakers and homemakers and women would not be made to feel guilty about pursuing a career and a family simultaneously.

In the end, it truly is gender that causes the problem with the modern day family unit. That is not to say that either gender, by virtue of itself, is the problem but that the problem lies with the roles and expectations assigned to individuals based on their gender. Women are caught in conflict because of the roles assigned to their gender by society. After all, men do not have to debate whether or not they will return to work after they father children. In fact, staying at home with the children does not even seem to be an option for men because of the roles they have been given. Until we, as a society, can shrug off our own gender biases toward family roles women and men will always be locked in debates like this one.

Reference:
Cathy Young. "The return of the Mommy Wars: is a stay-at-home mom a traitor to feminism?" InfoTrac OneFile. Thomson Gale. Virginia Commonwealth University.