Soldier Suicide: Social Stigma

On Memorial Day, cemeteries honor brave men and women who served their country faithfully. Crowds gather for local services in honor of veterans who served in various wars and in times of peace, many of whom gave lives for country. But for a few who gather on that day, there will be a deep sense of grief, one that goes beyond the loss of a loved one. Let me explain.

When a soldier takes his or her own life (often in the home) the solder's whole service record becomes overshadowed by one final act. Moreover, his or her family is left with unanswered questions--enduring shock, grief, and embarrassment over the soldier's choice of death. Soldier suicide is a sad condition of war and made even sadder by the social stigma attached to suicidal death.

I know a mother who lost her son a year or two ago. He was serving in the National Guard and was called up for his third overseas tour. He had only been home from Iraq for a year, and it was a difficult year for him. The soldier suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a brain injury resulting from close proximity to a roadside bomb. Though he survived the initial trauma, he continued to suffer a personal and daily battle in his mind. The brain injury left him permanently wounded. That return call to Iraq was more than he could endure. There seemed only one way out of his pain and he took it.

On Memorial Day, the mother attended a memorial service at her local cemetery to honor veterans. Her son served honorably and was a very decorated soldier. But the societal stigma of suicide meant she felt she couldn't share her son's military achievements with others in attendance. Her pride in his accomplishments was something that took a backseat to the way in which he died. Her loss was more than the loss of her son; it was the loss of ability to speak of her loss. Sadly, the honor due her soldier son was clouded by his type of death.

How many soldiers return from war broken in mind? It's not a wound that shows; nonetheless, it's a wound. And that brings up another question. Why would a soldier with a diagnosed neurological disorder be called upon to return to war? Something is not right with that. If a soldier is receiving treatment and is considered a suicide threat, there must be more effective safeguards in place to prevent soldier suicide. Moreover, sending the soldier back for a repeat performance seems ludicrous, as well as risky for comrades.

This Memorial Day, when we see flags at the graves of soldiers who served country faithfully, we would do well to remember and honor service records, first and foremost. The service record of a brave soldier is that which should leave its mark in memory and history--not merely the manner in which a soldier died.

Furthermore, we would do well to press beyond social stigmas and those uncomfortable feelings of not knowing what to say to an individual who lost a soldier to suicide. We should approach such a person and tell the person how proud we are of their soldier's service to country. Then we should thank him or her for their great sacrifice. Finally, before we leave the cemetery, we should also pay respect at the gave of that soldier, expressing our thanks for his or her honorable service.