Some of the Dumbest Criminals You Will Meet Anywhere

A man was arrested for drunk driving a lawnmower through the drive through at a Jack in the Box earlier this year, according to the website, www.dumbcriminals.com, and he might just belong in a list as one of the dumbest criminals anytime, anywhere.

According to an employee of the restaurant, he didn't notice anything unusual when the man tried to place his order, because everyone using the speaker to place an order sounds like he is on a lawnmower anyway. The man was later arrested while he was still on the lawnmower.

According to the website, http://www.jokesclean.com, another man was arrested for drunk driving when he drove a Zamboni (A Zamboni is a machine that smoothes the ice on a rink and is often used at hockey games.) at a hockey rink. He had crashed it into a wall and had also operated two forklifts, damaged a hockey net, sprinkler system, and walls. He was also charged with criminal mischief, burglary, and violation of his bail. Do you think he belongs in a list of dumb criminals?

A postal worker made the mistake of trying to pawn some gold he was supposed to deliver. The problem? The pawn shop he went to in attempt to pawn the gold was the same one that had melted it down to send it a business in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and a worker recognized it. The postal worker was charged with embezzling.

Another dumb criminal needs to learn to not spit or at least to be careful where he spits. An observant detective noticed tobacco juice stains on papers at an insurance office that had been ransacked and burglarized. Nobody that worked in the office smoked or chewed tobacco.

After investigation, tobacco spit was found at five other crime scenes. The DNA in all five crimes was the same. The police already had a suspect, and a warrant was obtained to test his DNA. It matched the DNA from the tobacco spit!

Reader's Digest lists a group of alleged criminals, on the website, www.rd.com, who belong in a list of the dumbest criminals anywhere, anytime.

In Daytona Beach, Florida, 19-year-old Justin MacGilfrey allegedly entered a local store and tried to rob it by threatening the clerk with a deadly weapon--his finger pointed at the clerk, like a gun. He cocked his finger, as though he was going to shoot.

Although the clerk thought it was a joke, MacGilfrey allegedly was serious. When the clerk refused to give him money, and MacGilfrey allegedly ran, he was later arrested.

Phillip Williams was arrested after he allegedly stopped two Tampa, Florida, police officers and asked them to test his cocaine pipe to see if it was real. He wanted to see if he had not been cheated when he bought it, after all. It was real, and he was arrested.

A 17-year-old in Lambertville, Michigan, allegedly tried to siphon gas from the wrong car. It was the wrong car, because a police detective was sitting in it at the time, and he arrested the teenager.

Steve Lent allegedly tried to pass himself off as his brother, Christopher, after he was stopped for a routine traffic violation. Steve Lent already had an outstanding warrant for his arrest, but maybe he forgot there was also a warrant for Christopher Lent.

Alexander D. Smith was arrested after he allegedly tried to open a bank account in Augusta, Georgia, with a one million dollar bill. Maybe the first clue something was wrong for the banker was there is no such thing as a one million dollar bill.

One person who truly belongs in a list of dumbest criminals, or alleged dumb criminals is Ellis Cleveland, who was arrested in Honolulu, Hawaii, for robbing four banks. Cleveland's response was that he did not rob four banks; he only robbed three.

Criminals really should avoid publicity. Robert Echeverria, 32, allegedly pretended to be the CEO of a big company who called a Rialto, California, Del Taco and said his order was botched. After getting $15 in free food, Echeverria and two friends allegedly posted a short movie, How to Scam Del Taco, and placed it on YouTube. It was a popular video, especially among the police who watched it and arrested Echeverria and his friends.

Citations: Jerk in the Box, No author listed, Dumbcriminals.com
Dumb Criminals, No author listed, Jokesclean.com

Crime for Dolts, by Andy Simmons, RD.com