Some Encouraging and Not-So-Encouraging Examples of Long-Distance Relationships

Relationships are hard. You don't need to have been in a serious one to know how hard it is because many of your friends have expressed to you the woes of being with someone. If they haven't, then lucky you (sort of).

Doubly hard are long-distance relationships. I've never been in one myself, so I have no personal experience to write from; however, that also means I have no personal experience to bias me. I'm pretty neutral about long-distance relationships. I'm not here to encourage or discourage them or to give tips of any sort, just here to list a few somewhat eclectic real-life examples of people I know personally and to let those who are dealing with a long-distance relationship know there are lots and lots of people out there going through something similar. Just keep in mind that your individual personalities are huge factors in the relationships (duh).

None of my examples is as silly as a rich stud suddenly deciding to fly from LAX to Charles de Gaulle to meet the girl he missed in high school. These are real stories about real people whom I've had the pleasure of meeting. I'm not talking about those mini-league long-distance relationships like LA and San Francisco, New York and Chicago, or Miami and Detroit. I'm talking about love (for the lack of a more effective word) that transcends the distance of oceans and continents. (I fully realize whether it's 100 miles or 6000 miles, it's still long-distance, and it's still hard not being able to see each other on a daily or weekly basis, but you have to admit it's a lot cooler to say you have a boyfriend in London than in Seattle.)

Hong Kong and Osaka. My friends and I saw this one coming. We all thought they would get together almost an entire year before they actually did. Now, the guy's working as an investment banker in Hong Kong while the girl is studying in Osaka. They eventually broke it off, for the classic reason of not wanting to deal with the distance. They're still great friends, though.

California and New Zealand. For some reason, this sounds like a natural coupling, except these two aren't blond surfers. They met when the guy was doing a one-year academic exchange program in California. We all made fun of them when they first met, especially since they were denying in typical conservative fashion that there was anything between them. They got together, there was a big splash in our social circle, and the guy returned to New Zealand. They are still together. It's been almost two years. In those two years, they have seen each other twice (excluding all those webcam chats - you see, we modern people have it easy!). They call each other husband and wife. Now, the guy's working as an architect in Brisbane, Australia, and the girl is studying in California to get into med school.

Taiwan and California. One of my former teachers has a "significant other" in Taiwan. Nobody said long-distance relationships were only between men and women.

Los Angeles and Ireland. A friend of mine from Shanghai was doing a one-year academic exchange program at UCLA while her boyfriend was studying in Ireland. They were childhood sweethearts who ended up going to England to study for their college degrees and eventually decided to do a year abroad in separate places. The girl was gorgeous, absolutely beautiful. Asian accents are notoriously unsexy, but this girl had it mixed with a northern English accent. It was almost mystifying. Plus, I'm a sucker for girls who are well traveled. To top it off, she was in a department that was about 90% guys. Imagine the line of guys who wanted to talk to her and even try to date her - until they found out about her status. Her boyfriend cheated on her. I don't know what he was thinking. She cried over the phone with her mom the first day, then she broke it off.

Tokyo and New Jersey. Here is another girl who is used to traveling. She tells me she doesn't mind having a boyfriend in New Jersey because she likes the freedom it gives her. She herself has wanted several times to break up with him, but every time her mother talked her out of it. This couple probably sees each other once a year. They met when he was working in Japan some years ago. They didn't have a common language at the time (she speaks Japanese, Mandarin, some German, and some English whereas he speaks English and bad Mandarin), so she spent two years teaching him Japanese. As far as I know, they are still together. The guy is about fifteen years her senior.

Brazil and London. A British friend of mine met a girl in Rio when he was vacationing there two years ago. Since then, he has gone back to see her about four times. It's getting expensive for him, but he tells me it's all worth it. He's working in real estate, and she owns a bar that's usually packed with tourists.

Los Angeles and Indonesia. They're both Indonesian, but the girl is studying in Los Angeles while the guy is working in Indonesia. They are five years apart. She's liberal; he's conservative. As of the writing of this article, they are still together. They haven't seen each other for two years. The girl's mother tells her she's already preparing their couple bedroom in their house (the parents' house, that is).

California and Japan. As I studied in Japan through a University of California study abroad program, I know quite a few such couples, some no longer together, some I don't know too well. The one I'm thinking about, the guy actually went back to Japan to live - for the girl and for everything else Japan has to offer.

Married. These are the ultimate success cases, I suppose. They're all Caucasian males who studied in an Asian country, met some lovely Asian gals, and eventually went back to marry them. Some live in America; some live in Asia. I personally know four such couples. If you're for some off-hand reason interested in reading my further comments on the topic of interracial couples of white males and Asian females, please see my article "Yellow Fever: Don't Let It Get You Blue."

As I hope I have shown, some long-distance relationships work; some don't. If you're in one and you're not sure whether or not it's going to work out, don't feel alone.

Because you're not.