Some Misconceptions About Bisexuality

Bisexuality is something that I feel is rarely addressed or acknowledged in the media. There seem to be many misconceptions about being bisexual, and many people seem even more confused by bisexuality than homosexuality. Homosexuals and heterosexuals do have one thing in common: the have a preference for one gender and one only.

So how, you might be wondering, can a person be romantically inclined to both genders? Well, I have found that the best way to explain it is as follows. Say you're a gay/straight person picturing your idea mate. Well, at the top of your list, so high up you almost don't even think about it, is their gender. For a bisexual, that's not the case. What is at the top of my list? For me personally, I don't know. I guess it varies from one bisexual to another, just as different preferences vary in the gay and straight orientations.

To say I have no gender preference is inaccurate. I (and probably most bisexuals) have a preference to one gender over another. I prefer men. Most of this is because I want my relationship to be accepted by society at large, and more importantly, my family. I would not want to deal with the strife of introducing them to a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend, I wouldn't want to see my would-be girlfriend get hurt, and there's also the detail of most of my family not knowing I even like girls.

In any case, here are a few misconceptions about bisexuality I've heard over the years, along with my responses to them.

Bisexuals are greedy!

How so? The vast majority of us only end up with one mate. If you're so concerned about "greed" in that area, you really should be turning your attention towards polygamists and cheaters. And that's like saying anyone who doesn't care about a certain trait is greedy. Nobody calls someone greedy for not caring about hair color, height, weight, ect. So why should we be called greedy for not caring about gender? We do still have standards; gender just plays a much less significant role in them. We can be as picky as any other sexual orientation.

How can you like both genders knowing you'll only end up with one?

Quite similar to the above. How can you like tall guys and short guys knowing you'll only end up with one? How many people go onto the dating scene having their exact soul mate in mind? Very few. We don't know if we'll end up with a guy or girl. We just hope whoever we end up with is the right one for us, regardless of gender. And yes, as I said before, some do have a gender preference. They may be willing to date both genders, but have one gender in mind for their life mate. That might sound weird, but think about it. We're not the only ones who'd be willing to date someone we would never marry.

You're just saying you're bi to be different!

Ouch, that's a tough one. Mostly because before college it's usually true. A lot of people I knew in high school claimed to be bi in an effort to stand out. Just by some coincidence they'd never been attracted to someone of their gender. But it would happen someday... Maybe. Not. Yes, a lot of people do "grow out of" being bi, but not all of us do. So please do not automatically assume we're faking it. Besides, when you encounter someone who is faking it, calling them out on it will only make them want to fake it more.

I wouldn't want to date a bisexual. I'd be too scared of being dumped for someone of my gender!

I guess that comes down to a matter of personal preference, but think about what you're saying. You've still been dumped. Does it matter so much who you've been dumped for? Would it really sting more than being dumped for someone richer, stronger, or better looking than yourself? Like I said, this will always be your preference. If you don't want to date bisexuals then don't, I guess. Just do yourself (and everyone else) a favor and at least think about why you feel the way you feel about it.

People are bi so they can have a boyfriend and a girlfriend!

...Again, you're thinking of polygamy. I'm not against polygamy, by the way, I just don't get why people are so insistent on linking it with bisexuality. Polygamists come in all sexual orientations. Some are straight, some are gay, some are bi. While we're on the subject of generalizing bisexual tendencies, cheaters, players, and devoted lovers come in all three sexual orientations as well. Straight people are perfectly capable of cheating, as are gays, as are bisexuals. But don't assume that just because you know someone's sexual orientation, you know how they'll fare in a relationship.

So, when you think about it, bisexuals aren't that different from everyone else. Gender is simply less important to us. I understand that can be hard concept to wrap your mind around, but nevertheless, I hope you have learned something from reading this.