Some Snow Science

Owing to the fact that I occasionally write a humor column, many people approach me with their science questions. And I give them answers.

Here is a question someone recently asked: When the snow melts where does all the whiteness go?

Good question! Snow on the microscopic level is made up of five main components, also called; parts. These are: crystals, water, whiteness, flakes, coldness and gravity (for falling). You might at this point say, "That is six components, not five" Remember though this is a science lesson, not a math lesson.

The whiteness actually comes from pieces of clouds. It is the coldness that keeps the whole thing together. This is proven by the fact that the snow all falls apart when exposed to warmness. According to meteorologists (people who study the weather patterns on meteors) lack of coldness is why there are so few snowstorms in the summer time.

Recall that one of the components is gravity. So naturally as the snow falls apart the gravity goes into the earth and the whiteness is free to float back up to be with the clouds. Most of it prefers to go back up at night when no one is looking and it is less likely to be hit by cars. Whatever becomes of the flakes, water, and crystals is still one of the great mysteries of science.

Another question some people ask is, "Is it really true that there are never two snowflakes alike?" I held this belief for many years. Then just last week during a snowstorm I looked around and noticed that all the snowflakes falling that day were exactly the same. I called the Bureau of Snowflake Design to confirm my observation. The front desk person confirmed it. "We don't know where that whole 'no two alike' myth came from." He said. "We haven't come up with a fresh design around here since 1979. We have like ten or twelve good ones we like to use."

"And you just keep doing reruns?" I asked.

"We prefer to call it recycling. What's wrong with that?" he said.