Some Tips on Helping Cure Cerebral Ron Paulsy

It can be a troubling thing to deal with, and although remains blessedly rare, there remains a small minority of Americans who are unfortunately afflicted with a seemingly seasonal ailment that carries with it many of the traditional symptoms of dementia. If you or your loved one are seen expressing delusional thoughts, a distancing from reality, denial, anxiety, thoughts of self harm, and an inability to formulate rational thoughts, you may very well be one of the unfortunate Americans infected with Cerebral Ron Paulsy.

What can we do for the ones we love who have come down with this terrible disorder? Although anyone exposed to victims of this condition may feel hopeless, especially for those so far gone that some even jokingly refer to them as Paulbots, rest assured that even for the most severe cases of CRP, there is indeed hope. Here are ten tips to help friends, family, or even yourself set down the path of recovery:

1. Read History Books by Credible Authors

Like those afflicted with obsessive compulsive disorder, many of those infected with Cerebral Ron Paulsy will find themselves stocking up on a variety of books that seem innocuous at first. But much like those OCD types - especially those with a hint of dementia - you will find that they are peculiarly amassing a library that they strangely refer to as "The Right Books". Upon closer examination, you will see that many of these history books make extravagant claims such as Abraham Lincoln's initiating of the American Civil War in a gambit to make himself rich, while the South only lost due to the withdrawal of support of the Rothschilds, who secretly ran the entire thing from behind the scenes.

History book recommendations include any of the classical works by ancient authors such as Polybius, Tacitus, Livy, and Alexia Komnenus. Contemporary work includes any general text book not passed out in Dubai.

2. A Dose of Reality Twice a Day

Perhaps the most disturbing thing about Cerebral Ron Paulsy is its detachment of the victim from reality. For example, many express feelings of concern that they are constantly under threat of harm by some sort of "all encompassing" force. Often times they attempt to materialize the omnipotence of their fears by referring to specific individuals in the American government or simply referring to the State in general. Because those infected with CRP are often easily confused, it is best to begin a strict regimen of simple truths daily, reminding them that they are not the victims of government conspiracies. Eventually, in time, the patient should also be able to tell the difference between fact or fiction, and will eventually be willing to integrate themselves in the norm of society once more.

3. Exposure to the Real World

As most of those infected with Cerebral Ron Paulsy are ardent internet users with limited social interaction (although doctors have not yet linked CRP to internet usage and regard this as sheerly coincidental), they usually have very little interaction with the outside world. Because of this, they often times don't know how the real world tends to work. Therefore reminding them of simple things like that there are no armed men at Polling Stations waiting to ambush them and steal their vote and banks are generally not run by evil grinning Jews can be very helpful on the path to recovery.

It's also important to remind them how the government actually works, as a great part of CRP's paranoia is directed at states in general (though usually not those overseas). Therefore, taking a patient to a state capitol building to actually watch the legislative process can do wonders.

4. Carrying Around a Simple Fact Sheet

In the delusional paranoia that emanates from CRP, many victims literally forget simple factual statements they've made before, or will unwittingly exaggerate numbers well beyond their actual, factual basis. The most common example is the changing the number of detainees at Guantanamo to 700+ to 3,000+. Perhaps equally as alarming is how often times historical facts are forgotten, or sometimes even ignored thanks to the damaging affect to the brain CRP has.

Therefore, carrying around a sheet that reminds them either of claims they've made or the actual truth of many situations may help them to regain their sense of reality. All too often, they are prone to jump to wild conclusions, like government involvement in 9/11, based on theories founded on evidence that they've already admitted before was faulty. Just as troubling is the constant declaration of statements that run counter to world history passed as fact.

5. Isolation

In the late stages of Acute Cerebral Ron Paulsy, there may simply be no hope but quarantining the patient in the hopes that they either cannot affect others (it has been shown to be mildly contagious, but a careful immune system built around reality and common sense usually wards off the worst of these effects). Many are simply so detached from reality that there is simply no hope of bringing them down without repeating steps 1-4 over the course of several weeks, or simply waiting until the end of election season when Ron Paul does not receive the Republican nomination.

This could be the best hope for those so far lost as to make claims that America is deserving of all international ire thrown its way, and often times try to justify international terrorism. They should be familiar with the term isolation, however, as it is a key platform of their chosen political candidate.

Awareness

Although blessedly few Americans are infected with Cerebral Ron Paulsy, awareness remains low. Polls indicate that roughly 50% of Americans are even aware the condition exists, and even fewer know how to treat it. If you or your loved ones represent the single digit numbers, what they need above all else is your love, tolerance, and reminder that there is hope at the end of the tunnel. It is important to not be set off by the Tourette's Syndrome style nature of CRP, as victims are often likely to exclaim inane and seemingly illogical nonsense when posed with reality.

This is normal, and is perhaps a step on the path to recovery. Doctors remain vigilant in their pursuit of a vaccine to prevent future generations from a similar malaise.