Some Tips for a Long Lasting Marriage
Or at Least One that Will Last 41 Years
1) I believe it is crucial to begin a marriage with the commitment that it is going to last forever. Many people today go into the relationship with the idea that they will give it a try until it no longer feels right. We live in a disposable society and unfortunately we have incorporated that into our relationships, as well. For me, the only reason I would have considered ending the relationship is abuse or infidelity.
2) In order to begin the relationship with the commitment mentioned above, one should realize that lasting love is a decision, not a feeling. Love and the feelings that go with it is wonderful when it is new, but if you want it to last, you need to be committed to stay the course if you get up one day and the feeling of being "in love" just isn't there. If you are committed to the relationship, you can make the decision to love and the feelings will come back. Personally, my belief in God is enormously beneficial. There are many times I have asked for help in noticing and remembering the many lovable qualities of my husband.
3) The next thing that contributes to a long and happy marriage is the knowledge and acceptance of the fact that love changes as we grow older and grow in the relationship. It is a sign of immaturity to always have to have the feeling of euphoria that is present at the beginning of a new love affair. We can continue to find ways to keep the excitement alive and vital, while realizing the tremendous comfort in having found someone who knows all our flaws and accepts us as we are.
4) A few other essential things that contribute to a long lasting (happy) marriage are: a) making sure you have time to enjoy being with each other b) being respectful of your spouse c) continuing to do small things that make their life easier and d) always being their "soft place to fall" when the world deals them a blow. It has been said that the number one reason for infidelity is not sex, but that the adulterer no longer felt that they were valued and appreciated. While that is no excuse for adultery, it is a wise person who creates an atmosphere where the other person in the relationship feels that they are important, valued and accepted.
In conclusion, all of these "tips" could be summed up in one sentence. It is one that is well known, but not often enough used. Modified to fit the subject, it would read. "Treat you spouse as you would want to be treated." If all married partners lived by that rule, all marriages would last "until death do us part".
Published by Elena H
Experienced Web Writer, Voracious Reader, Christian, Happily Married Wife for 44 yrs, Proud Mom of 2 Adult Sons, Mimi to 3 Wonderful Granddaughters, Great Mother-in-Law, Care-taker of Elderly Mom View profile
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26 Comments
Post a CommentMy Husband and I have been married for 37 years and he is 10 years older than me. The thing is that now because we are both in our late 60's and he is in his early 70's we both have opposite ideas. I love movies, he hates going to movies, only watching movies with John Wayne in it, meaning he loves cowboy movies. I love bowling, he hates bowling, and I love playing Bingo in Las Vegas he hates gambling all together. So, therefore what do I need to do to make it a more exciting romance for the both of us?
I love it !
I"m trying to go back and read a lot of first articles from my favorites CP's, it's been interesting! I love the tips in here and will start putting them to good use :-)
I enjoyed reading the article. I've written a few as well about being happily married while under the stress of raising developmentally disabled children.
Excellent advice Elena. We need more women like you (in the world) to teach the younger ones! :)
I like it! :)
Great advice from someone who has the right to give the advice having been married as long as you have. My parents celebrated 37 years in August and my husband's 37 in June and they are great role models for us as we are in our 6th year of marriage. :)
Very Nice. Congratulations on 41 years. My wife and I are at 34 so I know it doesn't just happen.
I so agree...my husband and I just recently celebrated our 21st anniversary and are planning a big 25th anniversary where we are going to be remarried...I cannot wait...our love has grown strong over the years 'with' each other as yours has between each other....ahhhh what a wonderful feeling it is!! GREAT ARTICLE!!
Perfect! Bravo! :-)