Somebody's Watching Me

I try not to judge others. Honestly. But one thing that ticks me off more than anything is when people steal the innocence of children - even unconsciously.

As in most rental complexes, we have to endure a small party crowd that gathers every weekend to "let loose". It wouldn't be so irritating if they stayed within the borders of someone's fenced backyard where no one had to see them. But they take their lawn chairs out into the parking lot - in the open - where everyone, including children, are exposed to their drinking, joint-passing and language that would make the hardest biker blush.

Now, I'm no prude: I partied pretty hard in my younger days. But there comes a time when such a lifestyle becomes...inappropriate. And once children enter your life, in my opinion, partying that hard should slow down, if not stop completely. After all, they're watching every move you make. Do you really want them to copy that sort of activity? The ring-leader of our party crowd, who I'll call "Cassy", certainly doesn't care what her nine-year old daughter sees and that makes me angry.

One evening in the early summer, I sat on my front steps madly typing on my Neo keyboard to meet an article deadline. It was a Thursday night and the weekend for the party-crowd usually started then. Cassy sauntered out of her yard with a Red Eye (that's beer and Clamato juice. It's a Canadian thing...) in one hand and a joint in the other plopped herself down on her new neighbors' front step.

As Cassy prattled on about her life history (as is the case with a lot of people who drink too much), I was able to tune out most of her verbal diarrhea and work. Then she said something that made me stop cold:

"Yeah, a lot of people are shocked when they hear me talk to my daughter. I swear at her and yell at her. I give her a swat once in awhile. But she and I are great friends. I'm just preparing her for the real world."

The "real world"? Who's "real world"?

As a someone who grew up with an alcoholic mother, who lived a lifestyle not much different than Cassy's, I can tell you Cassy's world isn't the "real world". Just because she's managed to surround herself with people who support what she's doing doesn't mean it's normal or right.

We're supposed to teach our children that the world and life can be hard and difficult and so can people we come up against. But most people aren't that bad and we give our children the tools to cope with the difficult ones. We're supposed to teach them there isn't always an "easy route" in life and we have to work hard. We're supposed to talk to them about drugs and sex and give them tools to avoid peer pressure. We're supposed to teach them how to drink responsibly and the horrible things that can happen when we don't. We're supposed to build their self-esteems so they can excel in everything they try to do. And, most importantly, we should teach them the Golden Rule or, at the very least, that "what goes around comes around".

We're supposed to be role models for our children and guide them to become productive, caring, successful adults. We should teach them it's okay to make mistakes because Mommies and Daddies are human and we make them too. But they should see us dealing with problems head on without resorting to substances to temporarily ease the pain.

The world Cassy is preparing her daughter for is one of being ostracized for believing the way you deal with the world and the people in it is to yell, curse, and get high. There are thousands of rehabilitation centers built all over the world that prove Cassy's theory wrong. But how is Cassy's daughter supposed to believe otherwise when the one person who's supposed to love her unconditionally rips her self-esteem to shreds on a daily basis?

Ironically, as I bring this article to a close, I can see Cassy out in the parking lot with her Red Eye in one hand and a joint in the other while she screams at her friend to, "get a life". Her daughter stands in their backyard peering at her mother over the fence with a vacant look on her earnest little face.

It's 2:00 p.m. on Thursday. The party starts early this weekend.

Who's watching you?