Someone, Anyone...Give Me a Job!

Allow me to bring you up to speed. I have 117 resumes (that I know of) gathering dust in the offices of companies across the country. Now that I think of it, a healthy percentage have likely been shredded by now. I've posted electronic copies of my resume on Monster, Careerbuilder, and numerous state sites. I have spent an immeasurable number of hours scouring newspaper classifieds, Internet classifieds, and individual company sites for jobs in, around, and far outside my desired fields. I have received 1 serious phone call, three phishing scams, and dozens of position offers requiring nothing more than an ability to cold-call. Oh, and 1 call from an employer that meant to call another candidate.

There's something wrong with this picture, especially when I remember that I have roughly $14,000 in grad school loans waiting for me in May 2008. I've heard it from hundreds of people, but I guess I never really believed it. Finding a job? Well, it ain't easy.

Now, I realize I've made huge mistakes before I began my job search. For example, I picked a field that no one cares about: history. To make things worse, I double-majored with a degree in (gasp!) English. I should have listened to my mother's (anything but) subtle advice that ran a little something like this: "Sharon's kid majored in English and still hasn't found a job. He graduated in 1987." Thanks for the encouragement, Ma. I had a vague understanding that English and history weren't entirely desirable in the real world, but it didn't matter. I wasn't joining the real world. I planned to be a college professor.

Numerous things shattered this dream. First, I slowly learned that the job market in academia was worse than the job market everywhere else. Apparently, those in history departments and graduate programs choose not to mention this until your up to your eyeballs in debt to the government. Second, I got married right out of college and had a kid two years later. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my wife or son for a job, but they make it pretty hard to simply stop running down a dead-end career path when so much time, money, and effort have already been invested. Ironically, they also make it hard to continue on a dead-end career path when obtaining a Ph.D. and tenure would require me to all but abandon them. I already have had to miss too much just studying for a Master's.

Another big mistake came when I lingered too long in the old school. I naively held on to my faith that fantastic grades, a double major, and a Master's degree would mean something to anyone. They don't. Say it with me, folks: "Experience." That's all that matters these days. Whore yourself out for any and all experience you can find. I didn't. It's killing me, now. In my defense, double-majoring and graduate school leave little time to gain relevant experience, especially when the aforementioned wife and child need support. Moreover, I currently work as a research assistant and have had some teaching experience. That information would be great, if I still wanted to become a professor.

Network, network, network. Enough said, though try to network in a field in which you plan to continue. Oops!

Though I fully admit my missteps, I still have what I believe to be valid complaints regarding the career process. Let me first highlight my qualities. Shameless self-promotion or pertinent to this article? I'll never tell. I am a highly effective communicator. Written, verbal, interpretive dance...you name it, I'll successfully communicate it to the person of your choice. I also possess extraordinary research skills. I have to. After all, I write numerous research papers each semester. Analytical skills? Oh my, yes. Not only do I have to wade through piles of data and information, but I have to decide what's relevant and then package it into a believable, accurate, and comprehensible argument. It's not an easy task. Additionally, all the other desirable corporate buzzwords apply ("dependable," "results-driven," "team player," blah, blah, blah).

I know I can handle many of the requirements of the jobs in government, research, analysis, communications, and writing to which I apply. There's one problem, however. I don't possess the mandatory 3-80 years experience required by every single company in America that offers anything other than entry-level sales positions. I have nothing against sales, it's just not my desired career. It is the only career, however, in which recent grads can obtain a job. Perfect.

So here I sit. I'll hold the Master's degree in my hands in December of this year. Unfortunately, I'll hold the bill for said degree in my hands six months later. My visits to job sites occur daily and turn up few new leads.

Now, I know this is not a new complaint. Many, if not all, of you reading this have experienced the same frustration, the same worry, the same dejection.
I guess I'll just have to rely on the old book of cliches to keep on going. After all, tomorrow's another day. When God closes a door (in my case hundreds of them) he opens a window (which I can't seem to locate). You can't spell "rewarding career" without "rad car." Okay, I made up that last one. But doesn't it highlight my creativity? Excuse me, I have to add that to my resume.