Sometimes We Just Don't like People. is This Okay?
Are We Bad If We Don't like Someone?
Some would say that if you dislike others, you have some unresolved personal issues that you need to work on. Perhaps it's bitterness, resentment or unhealed hurt in your life causing your view of the people you come in contact with to be skewed. A lot of the time that's probably true. Yet there are plenty of nice, well-meaning people struggling to pretend they like a person when they truly can't stand them.
It is possible, though, that the measure of a nice person is not in how much they like others, but in their lack of desire to hurt anyone's feelings--even those of the ones they dislike.
Perhaps because we are all such complex creatures made up so differently, it is not reasonable to expect that we can react the same to every personality we meet. We all have different preferences and tastes, and these apply to people as well. Each of us is drawn to a certain type of person, and at the same time repelled by others.
This is something I've wrestled with in recent years, as it's caused me to feel guilty and like there's something wrong with me when I find that I don't like someone.
I figure that since God has made it clear we are to love our neighbors, this probably includes "like". Does God expect me to like everyone? Am I displeasing to God when I don't? I certainly know how I'm supposed to treat others, regardless of how I feel about them. My actions I can control, but some of my feelings I cannot--at least I haven't been able to as of yet.
Now, it's likely that anyone reading this can think of at least one person they know who they aren't crazy about. If this is true about you, do you think you're being unfair to the person or people you dislike? Do you want them to know you don't like them? What did they do that made you dislike them? These are the questions we should ask ourselves to determine if our feelings are justified and what they are rooted in.
All I know is that I try to treat others they way I want to be treated, and really do not ever delight in offending or hurting anyone. I believe that just because I don't like someone, it doesn't mean they have to know it. I also know that I'm human and sometimes fight the urge to tell people what I really think, knowing it would be mean to do so.
The fact is that mixed into the world's population of great and nice people, there are always going to be those who have awful personalities and put others off with their behavior. Since they cannot always be avoided, we at least need to decide how we will treat others, and not compromise our own integrity by responding to them in a way that we shouldn't.
Good luck on that, everyone.
Published by Superdork
I am a wife, and a mother of two children. These two roles are my favorite parts of being alive. I'm one of the most imperfect humans I know. And I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. View profile
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12 Comments
Post a CommentI'm training to work in nursing with lots of people contact and I'm about ready to become a hermit on my limited experience with both patients and staff. I agree with Jeff about the divisions of personalities, and would like to add there is also much overlap, creating subsets of wretched life. There's machinist training in a building near my classroom- I think about joining everyday. There, your biggest concern is losing a hand or flying metal in the face, which is something God equipped people to handle, as opposed to the constant vagary and abuse encountered when providing nursing care. At least you get a piece of crafted metal out of your labor instead of just an achy back, swollen knees and the sincere desire for the world to plunge into the sun.
i dont like people either women are crazy renters lie and bossmen are slave owners and coworkers are idiots and the system is a big joke
YES BUT... Dont let that person know that she can get hurt and just becaus yiu dont like her or him still has feelings so DONT LET THAT PERSON KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL!!!!!!!!
well of corse it is ok i hate this girl in my class and she is so weird and not alot of people like her so who can blame me i mean i have SO SO SO many friends and just because i dont like other people i am not mean you are just not likeing that person so it is so ok!!!!!!!
It's Okay! We don't have to like someone in order to treat them with the love and compassion that's inside of us, and that all human beings deserve, just becuase their one of God's creations.
Just smile, nod your head, and walk away.
I wouldn't trust anyone who liked everybody...I have worked in serveral "people contact" jobs-airline, retail, and now run crews that do utility work-and have come up with a basic formula-25% of the people are just jackasses, and don't deserve the food and oxygen they use. 25% are self-righteous/self-important assholes, and need smacked with a stick. Another 25% are too ignorant to have an intelligent conversation. This leaves 25%-out of that group are some very good, very interesting people that are very much worth the effort to get to know. As a side note, I am sure "jesus" would probably be as annoyed by some of those praying to him as he is with thieves and prostitutes...
LOL I often catch myself saying that I hate people, usually this comes from road rage LOL Seriously some people are bad enough to make you want to rush home and be around the people you know you can stand. Great article.
I agree, Amy! Thank you both for your input. I am imagining Jesus being annoyed with tax collectors and prostitutes. I don't know why that's funny to me. He was, after all in a human body, so it would make sense that he would get annoyed. I wonder if he had any friends that talked about themselves too much, or that would just drop in on him without notice. I wonder if that would've annoyed him too. Well, that's just a whole other article.
I don't think you have to like everyone, but you do need to try to treat everyone with respect. Some people can't help that they're a**holes. :)