Somewhere Over the Rainbow

We'll always be together in our hearts. That is what she had always told me, but how could that be true if she was dead? She had always been so loving, so brave, so strong...but it had taken her. Cancer had won.

My grandma had been battling cancer for a long five years - and now the war was over. I did not see the sun over the next few days, and if it had shone at all, I had not noticed. I was a ghost, alive, but not living. Seeing, yet ignoring the sights. Eating, but not tasting. Life seemed to pass by in a haze and all I wanted to do was lock myself away and block out the rest of the world.

Through a veil of tears, I saw the coffin. It was pink with white roses, even though yellow with bright sunflowers would have suited her better. My grandma had been beautiful, fun-loving, and hard working. She had lived through World War II, then left England to live with my granddad in America. She had taken care of my mom and the rest of her family while her military husband was overseas, fighting wars. Precious memories ran through my mind as I sat in the church pew, settled between my mom and aunt. I remembered when she taught me to cook Yorkshire Pudding and the time I had learned to knit. I thought back to when my grandma had tried to jump-rope, at my request, and fell flat of her back, only to laugh about it and try again. I remembered every Christmas Eve, when she would read the "Night Before Christmas" to me and my sister, and how I use to open my birthday presents in her bed, first thing in the morning.

Small tears trickled down my face as her favorite song, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" played in the background.
I stood in the peaceful cemetery, her new home, letting the serene view sink in. As I stared at the brand new weeping willow that had been planted, regret washed over me. If only I had spent more time with her. If only I could have been there with her when she was sick. If only I could have told her I loved her one last time. If only...if only...if only. I remember my mom telling me, "It's okay to cry, but she's in a better place now. She is happy, healthy and free. No more sickness, no more tears. She wouldn't want us to be sad. She would want us to smile and take care of Grandad for her. She's where she had always dreamed of, Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

It was then that I realized nothing lasts forever. Everything comes to an end. Everyone dies. People get sick - and if we don't tell them that we love them - if we don't spend as much time with them as possible, when they have gone we will realize all that we have missed and regret it for the rest of our lives.

From that moment on, I promised myself that I would live each day to the fullest and not take anything for granted. I would always remember what a loving, strong person my grandma had been and enjoy life the way she had. I will never forget her. Now, every time I find myself wishing for her to be there at Christmas, or waiting for her to phone me on my birthday, I remind myself that she's there, waiting for me, Somewhere Over the Rainbow.