Songs with Couples in the Title

On "The Tonight Show" Jay Leno often had a segment called "Headlines." He would present the actual newspaper clipping and impart his trademark wit.

Occasionally he would display wedding announcements from newspapers around the country. The headlines were funny because they contained just the two last names of the betrothed. For example, a man named Paul Frederick might marry Davena March. The headline would say "Frederick-March."

I always wondered about first names, though. There could be a couple with the names Dharma and Greg, like on the television show. There are also probably couples with the same first names as the ones in some popular song titles. Here are ten such songs, some of which could actually be together in a relationship somewhere out there.

10. "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Mellancamp: This is "a little ditty about . . . two American kids growing up in the heartland." There is a great possibility that couples with these first names are together at this moment.

9. "Punch and Judy" by The Stranglers: This song from Aural Sculpture presents the puppets once famous throughout Great Britain. They abused each other mercilessly which for some inexplicable reason made the audience laugh. Fortunately the song exposes just how much society has progressed in terms of humor.

8. "Valentine and Garuda" by Frank Black and the Catholics: The guy telling his story is called Valentine, but he has just thrown away his lovely Garuda because of his drinking and gambling. It is another of the many appealing folk-rock songs from the album

Black Letter Days.

7. "Michael and Heather at the Baggage Claim" by Fountains of Wayne: I know a couple with these first names, and I told them about the song after I bought the new FOW album Traffic and Weather. Heather listened to it and said the song was all right but made no sense. I was surprised, since the song ends with Heather telling Michael, "It's you I love."

6. "Tweeter and the Monkey Man" by The Traveling Wilburys: This tale of drug dealers and crooked cops is probably the best track Dylan penned during the tenure of the band.

5. "Me and Mrs. Jones" by Billy Paul: We don't know the guy's name, but we sympathize with his involvement with a married woman. Their meetings are brief, but they're all he looks forward to in the world. Billy Paul sings with such love that the listener has to appreciate his suffering.

4. "Zak and Sara" by Ben Folds: Zak "without a C" loves "Sara spelled without an H." He plays her favorite song on his guitar and she claps. Meanwhile, Folds' piano bounces happily along. In between, though, Folds' lyrics hint at physical abuse and financial hardships.

3. "Geraldine and John" by Joe Jackson: These two are a "happy couple, so inseparable," according to Jackson's lyrics. Then we find out that Geraldine's brother assaulted John and that things are not so rosy between the couple. Jackson, exhibiting extraordinary talent on harmonica, then explains the trouble in the chorus: "For better or for worse, They are married but of course, Not to each other."

2. "Donald and Lydia" by John Prine: This is another delightful song from Prine's widely appreciated debut album. The relationship here is unusual because the two have never met. He's in the army and she works in a penny arcade, but they still make love. Prine explains how at the end of verse three: "When they were finished there was nothing to say, Because mostly they made love from ten miles away."

1. "The Ballad of John and Yoko" by The Beatles: Here we get Lennon's humorous reflection on the media hype surrounding his marriage journey, complete with fifty acorns in a sack and chocolate cake in a bag. The chorus is one of the catchiest ever, as Lennon admits "You know it ain't easy, You know how hard it can be, The way things are going, They're going to crucify me."