Sorting Out Yourself when Everyone is Problematic to You

She was the fifth lady I was seducing within a period of one year. All of the other five had declined my friendship because I was so strict in life. When this lady asked me whether I had a girl friend, my answer was no and when asked to explain, the usual reason was that it is because the other ladies feared my principles-being too much a perfectionist. "Do you think ladies that have left you to have a problem?" she asked and I said yes. "Yes because the ladies do not know what they want in a man. They don't want a man to tell them the truth". After seeing the sixth lady for over a year, she could not get herself to say yes to my friendship with her, and as others, the same answer was that it is because she need to sort herself out first.

I have an aunt who has been moving from one household to the next working as a house maid. The last place she worked, she was employed for a period of only 7 days, being an average period of employment of other places she has similarly walked out of after a disagreement, mistreatment, lack of understanding between her and the employer, or due to behaviors she attributes to the employer that she referred to as 'slavery'.

My best friend cannot talk to anyone about investment except me and his brother in law because people are untrustworthy. According to him, all ladies are materialistic and that a good man is either good because he is poor or because he has a long term plan to destroy you.

These and many others are common stereotyping that face us in our society. In know that in one area of your life you might be considering that a particular shortcoming is generally inherent in every human being, and that may be only you can better be regarded as good in that area; whether you are thinking of faithfulness, trustworthiness, honesty, quick understanding, cleanliness, optimism, opportunism, and other positive attributes of humanity. But don't you think you have a problem you ought to solve?

Take my case for instance, the problem I had was that I failed to realize the importance of socialization. No matter how good you are, however how much you can be trusted, but the game of relationships that I have come to learn is that you need to be a charming guy and outgoing, not bombarding every lady you meet with the attributes a good lady must have. My aunt lacks a vital component of human belonging, and that is called humility. I know her an egocentric personality, who will always want to be in the command line, and when she meets people possessing the same characteristics as her, especially those people turning out to be her employer, she rather say that they are 'devils' than humbly perform her duties.

In the case of my friend, I cannot fully comment on his otherwise anticipated bad character. It is not wise to conclude that maybe he is the dishonest person, someone untrustworthy with investment plans, but I would say that stereotyping no matter the case, calls for self examination.

Having a judgmental mind is not abnormal. Hating much about other people's personalities is not new. But it has been realized that in most cases what we hate in others are to a greater extent a reflection of what we do or like doing which the society considers bad. A good example is the habit of Kenyans to use their phones to beep others or send "please call me back" messages which are not charged. Those who like this behavior, when the same is done to them, will come to the sender of the free messengers yelling and telling them never to repeat the same again. Therefore, when you see in your life that many people you come across are fond of doing what you hate, it is probably because you are fond of doing the same thing.

My advice, before you react to a personality or habit or character of a person you consider bad, it would be better to think of your daily life and consider what you do to others. In this area, the biblical statement that 'do unto others what you would wish others do to you' hold a lot of water. Have a good time taking into consideration what other people's behavior might just be a reflection of your own personality.