Spam or Ham, It's All Baloney to Me

I'm one of those freaky people who enjoys reading the titles on spam mail. Anyone who owns a computer and visits any website is probably going to get deluged with spam. My internet provider has a spam filter and throws all this junk email into a separate file which allows me to read it or don't read it. I never open attachments, but I have to say I'm intrigued sometimes about what those wonderful little messages must contain on the inside.

For instance, just today I was given an opportunity to see pictures of available singles in my area, offered term life insurance and an android-powered phone. And then there's that one that keeps popping up telling me someone out in cyberspace is trying to deliver me a Dell computer that I didn't order.

Now, as far as the available singles in my area, I'll have to pass on that one. I would imagine the hubby would frown greatly on my checking them out. I guess they'll just have to find each other without my help. The last thing this old gal needs is another mouth to feed. Between the hubby and the cat, there's enough meal fixing going on in this house.

Then there's that term life insurance. I'm not sure at this age, I have that much term left. The company would have to offer me something that would peak out in the next ten years for me to get my money's worth out of that.

I'm not sure what an android-powered phone is. The only android I know much about is Data from the Star Trek series. Now, it would be nice to have him around to lift the couch when I need to vacuum under it. Maybe it's a phone that contacts him when you dial "1800-beam me up." I have to say that would be nice.
I also passed on an opportunity to receive a top-notch security system for my home for a mere pittance. Can't see that either. We have a home security system that doesn't cost us a dime. It's called neighbors' dogs running loose in the neighborhood who bark at anything and everything. When they come up with something that sends an electrical shock from my trash can to raccoons, then we'll talk.

My favorite of the day, though, was an opportunity to meet Big Beautiful Women. This made me wonder what the qualifications for this list might be? How big is big? Do I need to be carrying 10 pounds, 50 pounds or 500 pounds to fall in their category? Or maybe it's not weight at all. Maybe it's height. I may not be tall enough. Maybe they consider big to be seven feet or better. I'm not sure that's a great title to get somebody to read the ad. Even with all that aside, I'm really not interested in meeting any women unless they love to clean houses for free or cut grass.

I sent them all to that wonderful little category marked "Trash" with the affordable mortgage rates and fantastic opportunity offers. I guess some people profit from sending spam, but it seems like a worthless effort to me. As far as those big beautiful women are concerned, I hope it works out for you, because all I can say is "Thanks, but no thanks."