Spare the Rod, Spoil a Child?

Rough day yesterday! Had to punish the kids for their disobedience... the kids seemed to be conniving already on what rules to follow and what to disobey. But every time I have to punish them, there's a nagging feeling inside me... do i really have to do that? I felt bad knowing I'm hurting them... felt like I am a very bad mom,... but what does the Bible say about disciplining your children? So, I had to dig deep in the Word of God, and here's what I found out...

The book of Proverbs is so full of wise and practical sayings about parenting. I came across these verses:

"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

- i noticed here that disciplining comes with a rod (or spanking). It says by doing so, "he will not die" which means that the spanking should be firm, because you are making a point to your child, yet should be administered with love. This gives me the impression that when I punish my child, there should be no anger in my heart because anger may cause me to spank harder.

"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." (Proverbs 13:23)
- why do I punish the kids anyway? Because I love them so much that I don't want them to grow up having bad attitudes. As a parent, I am their first teacher of good moral values. But this verse also mentioned "careful to discipline", again, it reminds me that before I discipline my child, I should have the right reasons, I should have no anger in my heart towards the child, but to the "bad thing" that was done.

"The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child let to himself disgraces his mother." (Proverbs 29:15)
- I am responsible for imparting wisdom as well. I've seen a lot of parents punish their children for the "bad things" they've done, then leave them alone to suffer the pain. When i was growing up, I was oftentimes punished, but wasn't explain why what i did was wrong. I would stay in one corner of my room and cry my heart out, wondering what have i done that made me deserve this? I don't want my kids to feel that way, too. It is important to explain to the kids why they have to be punished and why what they did was wrong so that they wont do it again. And afterwards, assure them that despite that, you love them.

"Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul" (Proverbs 29:17)
- this is the reward for parents who discipline their children. I am assured that when my kids grow up, they will bring the values I taught them and will impart them to their future kids as well.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6)
- I specifically like this verse. This is the importance of being a good parent to our children, that when I start at their younger years, even when they grow old, they will still have the values I lovingly taught them. Oh, what a joy it would be!

I know there are a lot of people who do not believe in spanking as a way of discipline. There are a lot of books and experts that say it is no longer applicable in this time of age. Communicating with a child, they say is an alternative, to which I strongly agree, but it depends on the weight of the "deed" that was done because sometimes, a "good talk" will do. Well, I respect their views. But I am a firm believer that the Bible is still the best guide in our our journeys in life. Our God is still the best author of any parenting books. Having said that, I rest my case.

Note: All verses of the Scriptures taken from the New International Version (NIV) Bible