Speak French, the Language of Love on Valentine's Day

No other language sounds as sexy, sensuous, and seductive as French, especially on Valentine's Day. Certainly German does not. German sounds like a language for harshness and commands. Italian can sound sexy, but nothing compares to French.

When I traveled in Europe, occasionally I wandered into a cathedral just to hear the local language being spoken. One mass I heard was in German. Brother, I don't know how people can feel lofty religious feelings while listening to "freuen Sie sich dem Gott". Add some throaty "acchhhh", and someone might wonder why church makes you gag. (The phrase means "glory to God", by the way.)

On another occasion, I walked into a beautiful French cathedral to listen to their version of mass. I almost blushed. I wasn't that schooled in French at the time, and the utterances out of the priest's mouth sounded like he was making love to the congregation. In any case, it sure sounded like he liked God a lot.

So if you want to surprise your honey with a honey-tongue this Valentine's Day, try a little French on for size. Even if the love of your life doesn't speak French, they'll get the idea.

Ah, que tu est belle (bel, beau) - Ah, kuh tyu eh bel (bel, bo) How beautiful you are! "Belle" applies to a woman, "bel" or "beau" to a man.

Fais-moi l'amour - feh mwa lamore (again, the "r" is throaty) / Make love to me. No need to explain.

Je t'aime - jhu tem ("jh" as in "jelly") / I love you. Standard love phrase, not terribly creative but very meaningful.

Je t'adore - jhu ta-door' the "r" is throaty and almost silent) / I adore you. (Think of "shut the door" - juh ta door.) Also means I worship you. That's a hard core case of love, I'd say.

Je te veux - jhu tuh vuh / I want you. Umm, I won't go into the meaning of this. I think we all get it.

Je veux faire l'amour avec toi - jhu vuh fair lamore avek twa (again, the "r" in "faire" and "l'amour" is throaty, almost silent.) I want to make love to (with) you. Pretty clear and to the point.

Prends moi - Prawn mwa / Take me. (The "n" is throaty.) Even clearer.

Que tu est jolie - Kuh tyu eh jholee / How pretty you are (spoken to a female.) All women like to hear how pretty they are, trust me.

Tu veux coucher avec moi? - Tyu vuh koo-shay avek mwa (Will you go to bed with me?) The well-known phrase "Voulez vous coucher avec moi?" is a formal phrase with the word "vous" in it, and would not be spoken to a close friend or spouse. It's like the difference between "tu" and "usted" in Spanish.

After saying all of these beautiful things to someone and possibly engaging in loving acts, you might want to add:

Veux-tu m'épouser? - vuh tyoo may-poosay? / Will you marry me?

Terms of Endearment

In each of the cases below, "ma" means the term of endearment is spoken to a woman, and "mon" means it is spoken to a man. Having said that, the French have a few unusual terms of endearment, but remember in English we do too, such as "honey", "kitten", "baby doll", "pumpkin", "schnookums", "teddy bear", and so on.

Ma petite choux-choux - ma puh-tee shoe shoe / My little cabbage-cabbage - a French term of endearment, don't ask me why.

Mon/ma bébé (beh-beh) My baby - pretty standard.

Ma puce (poose) My flea - don't ever call me this.

Mon lapin (lapan) My rabbit - wonder what this means... 18 children perhaps?

Mon poulet (poolay) My chicken (to a male) - as in scared? Or something good to eat?

Ma poulette (poolet) My chicken (to a female) -- ditto

Mon minou (menoo) My kitten - what a sweet thing to say - unless your kitten is anything like mine.

Mon/Ma Cher/Chère (share) My dear - more standard stuff

Mon mignon (meenyone) My cutie - In English we say cutie-pie. I've never seen a pie with cuties in it.

Ma poupée (poo-pay) My doll - Cabbage patch doll? Choux-choux poupée?

Ma trésor (tray-zore) My treasure - Perhaps the best one of all.

The French seem to like animals for terms of endearment. In any case, these phrases and terms of endearment should give you a good head start for setting the mood on that most romantic of days, Valentine's Day.