Speaking from the Heart

What you say and what you do has an affect on others as well as yourself. It really matters when you speak that the words come from your heart. We have all spoken harshly to someone at some point in our life. Thinking back, can you imagine what kind of effect this had on the other person? Words can be much more painful than cuts or bruises. Words can cut worse than any knife and can break a spirit. The old adage "sticks and stones" is just a nursery rhyme. Words can and do hurt.

The same can be said of how you talk to yourself. The words you aim at yourself such as idiot, stupid or fat can and do leave a lasting impression. Every word you say is being taken in by your subconscious. Your subconscious believes what it is told and these words start to become a part of you. Your self-confidence takes a beating every time you engage in this negative self-talk. When you tell yourself you are no good at something, you are already defeated. Your hopes and expectations are gone. Speaking from the heart includes having a heart for you as well.

If you speak to someone else in an unkind manner, even an apology does not take away from the fact that the words are already spoken. It's too late to take it back at that point. The person you were speaking to may take what you said to heart. You don't know that perhaps you have just changed who they are. It's easy to just let the words fly when you're hurt, angry, frustrated or suffer disappointment. This just hurts everyone. You may even realize while it's happening that what you're saying is not in everyone's best interest. There is an old saying that bears repeating - "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything."

The important thing to remember is that words have a transforming effect, either positive or negative. Whether you mean what you say or not, if you say it enough times it changes you or the other person. Think about what that means if your thoughtless words are aimed at a child. There is never a time when it's okay to use put downs when talking to a child, not even if you mean to discipline the child. You are not promoting discipline; you are instilling low self-esteem and a worthlessness that no one should ever feel.

A wise person will choose their words carefully when they understand that one small word can affect someone's life negatively or positively. Even your own life. When you open your mouth, think first. It only takes a second. But the effects can last a lifetime.