Special Mother's Day Gifts for a Grieving Mother

In December of 1999, I had a 3 month old son pass away. The following Mother's Day was a hard day for me to endure. The only holidays that were harder were Christmas and what would have been my son's first birthday.

I had a very good friend who gave me the most meaningful Mother's Day gift in 2000. My son passed away from sudden infant death syndrome. Because there is so little known about this condition, research is constantly being done on it. My friend made a donation to the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences program that was researching sudden infant death syndrome at the time.

In the case of a mother who lost a child to an illness, giving to a program that is doing research on that illness will usually bring tears to her eyes. In my experience, these tears are tears of both joy and longing. I cried because I was happy that some other parents may not have to go through what I did when my son passed away. At the same time, I was longing for my son who I still miss very much to this day.

If the mother lost a child due to miscarriage or still birth, I think that it would be a good idea to give her some time away from home, especially if it is the first Mother's Day after her loss. This can be done by giving her a gift certificate to a local restaurant so that her and her significant other can spend some quiet time alone. Prepaying for a hotel room or a spa treatment would be another good idea.

Every mother that has lost a child will deal with the loss in her own way. When you are trying to find a gift for her, you have to take your clues from her. If she seems to be adjusting well, she will probably appreciate gifts that help her to remember that her child was special. You may want to consider giving her something that would be age appropriate for the child, had he still been living, to give to her.

You can consider buying or making a special flower arrangement to put on the child's grave. If the child was older when he passed away, try to put things in the arrangement that represent the things the child was involved in when he was living. Although it may be emotional, ask the mom to come with you to put the arrangement on the grave.

If a mother is still having trouble coping with her child's death, the best gift for her may be something that reminds her that she is still living. In this case, think about her hobbies. Give her a gift of scrap booking lessons or another craft.

Another possibility is to give the grieving mother time to finish coping with her loss. Sometimes, the best present is just a phone call telling her that you are thinking of her and that you are there if she needs to talk.