Special and Unique Holidays Fill the Calendar

There are a number of interesting sources for unusual "special" holidays designed to honor a special product or event. Chase's Calendar of Events is one such publication. For years, the Congress was the source of non-binding resolutions honoring this or that but the practice was curtailed in 1995. Meanwhile, state governors and local authorities are forever granting keys to the city or ornate parchment proclamations in support of some idea or product. In addition, manufacturers of products and just fun-folks create holidays to celebrate life ( except for Plan Your Epitaph Day, which is celebrated on November 2^nd of each year).

If one has a sweet tooth, nothing beats the celebration of items of candy and other treats. I like candy and the number of special "days" designated to honor candy products throughout the year is vast indeed.

In January, for example, National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day, National English Toffee Day and National Peanut Brittle Day are celebrated on the 3^rd, 9^th and 26^th days of the month, respectively.

February, according to the National Confectioners Association, which should - after all - know about these things, is a month to celebrate National Gum Drop Day (on February 15^th) and Chocolate Mint Day (on February 19^th). The rest of the year has many excuses to celebrate the glory of candy and, in particular, chocolate. Have a passion for chocolate-covered raisins? Wake up early on March 24^th to have an entire day to honor that snack.

Whether it's Jelly Beans (April 22^nd), fudge (June 16^th), Gummi Worms (July 15^th) or just plain lollipops (July 20^th), there is a special day to celebrate your cravings. Even if you enjoy roasting marshmallows over a fire, do that on August 30^th and you'll fit right in. Peanuts have a number of celebrations: September 13^th is National Peanut Day, National Peanut Butter Lover's Day falls on March 1^st and, finally, if one wishes to honor the finest culinary combination in the universe (excluding Mallomars, of course), do so on National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day on April 2^nd.

Ah, but it's not all stuffing oneself with sugar and candy, oh no. There are many more reasons and occasions to celebrate.

Many localities have their own special events or products to honor. For example, in Tampa, we have an entire festival built upon a legendary pirate, Jose Gaspar, who, sad to admit, never existed. But these are usually crass commercial enterprises. It's much more fun to celebrate unconventional and unexplainable holidays and observances!

As long as the discussion is on pirates, the International Talk Like a Pirate Day, celebrated on September 19^th, is a day to honor our ancestors who raped, pillaged and sailed the seas. The "official" site for this celebration offers such advice as "pick up lines" for bar hopping: "Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?"

I can assure my wife that I have not attempted this, mostly because it would make any normal wench collapse in laughter!

Take time off from your busy schedule, on June ^31st [sic] to stomp a weasel. I am aware that there is no June 31^st, which is just as well for the weasel population. [Just remember: 30 days hath Septober, April, June and No wonder, All the rest eat peanut butter except Grandma, she drives the Buick.] Think of what PETA would feel about that.

Now, and this is a poor segue, what's the status of your underwear? As a youngster, I remember my mother's admonition that I should always wear clean and mended underwear, because, "What if there's an accident?" It didn't occur to me, then, that if I were hit by a vehicle, ER staff wouldn't be that interested in my underwear. As far as I can tell, moreover, the cleanliness of underwear might be compromised as a result of the accident in any event. Be that as it may, on August 9^th, be sure that your undies are clean and presentable in celebration of National Underwear Day.

As a retired person, I have time on my hands. What better way to spend that time than celebrating the excitement and joys of life? Except for that epitaph thing.