Species of College Roommates and How to Cope

It's your first day of college fall term. You move in with a person, either in a dorm or an apartment thinking, 'they seem nice enough' and 'we can get along'. A month later you're in roommate hell. You have probably quit using certain areas of the apartment or started avoiding your dorm room just to stay away from them. There are several classifications of terrible roommates that you might be experiencing and different ways to deal with each of them. The ones I will be discussing are basically good people who happen to be really annoying to live with: the slob, the clinger, the sexiler, the partier, the moneyless, and the couple. I will not be discussing the jerk' because there are no solutions to living with them. You either have to ignore them or move out.

The Slob. This person doesn't mind the mess and figures if it doesn't bother them it doesn't bother you. Meanwhile you're disgusted by the dirty dishes and piles of things in the living room. Cleaning up after them won't help. The slob will think that you actually like cleaning. If you must clean, cleaning in their presence is the best way to get them to help out, or at least feel guilty. Also, don't clean up their side of the room unless you know, without a doubt, that they will appreciate it and not think it was rude or nosey.

The Clinger. This roommate wants to go with you everywhere. They are most common during the first year of college. If you are going out they want to know where, and if they can come too. If you go out without them they'll pout. Two sub species of clingers are the over-concerned and the friend-hater. The over-concerned clinger will wait up looking for you if you're not home by you usual time and get after you for not calling to tell them. They will also discourage going to parties or unfamiliar places, but insist on going with you if you go. The friend-hater will insult your other friends in order to gain importance. They may also start acting like they love your favorite band, or other things to make themselves more like you. Dealing with a clinger is difficult, but by avoiding them when possible and encouraging them to join clubs or attend social events that you're not going to, you can make them branch out. This roommate type will improve with time, or bond with another clinger that appreciates their attention.

The Sexiler. This roommate is one of the worst, but is thankfully only a problem for those who actually share a room. This is the roommate that is always locking you out of the room so they can have sex with their partner. The bolder ones, may even ask you to leave, though more commonly you'll just find yourself locked out when you return. Some scheduling can help with the problem so at least you'll know ahead of time if they're in your room or their partner's. Still, unless you're ready to sabotage their relationship, this is a case where you'd better either move out or find a bigger place.

The Partier. This roommate is irresponsible, loud, and keeps strange hours. In some cases they could be a good roommate because they're asleep when you get up, and out partying all night which could make it the next best thing to living alone. You get the choice to party with them or not, but there is a danger of the party showing up in your room or apartment. Best way to keep the party out of your place is to point out that if it's at someone else's place the two of you don't have to clean up after everyone. Problems that do arise are: loud entries at 3am, drunk dialing, and of course, you get to take care of them when they are falling down drunk and hung over. Illegal drugs could be a big issue, and if they're doing stuff that you don't want in your dorm or apartment there needs to be strict rules. Problems with partying roommates can occasionally take care of themselves since they are likely to get kicked out of college during the first year.

The Moneyless. This roommate is constantly complaining that they have no money, however, when you generously spot them some cash for rent, groceries, or gas, the next thing you notice is their trendy new clothes. The moneyless roommate might also be a partier who has money for their alcohol and drugs, but not bills. Usually the moneyless roommate isn't willfully trying to sabotage themselves financially, and they probably don't want to anger you by never paying you back (though they won't). This person does however need a reality check. They probably haven't even thought about a budget, and instead are just spending whatever is in their account. Help them work out a budget based on their income and expenses so they know how much extra money they have. While you're at it you could mention how much they owe you into that figure. Chances are this person also has credit card debt and is only making the minimum payments.

The couple. You moved in with your friend, things were great, and then they got a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now that significant other is hanging around the apartment all the time, eating the groceries and occasionally sleeping over. You're pretty sure he's paying rent somewhere else or living in the dorms, but your roommate never visits him there. What's worse is that you find him creepy or irritating and being in the apartment with him is incredibly awkward. You're doing you're best to just avoid him, but you would like to get out of your room once in a while. So what do you do? Talk to you roommate or their significant other, and see if you can get them to hang out at his place more often. Saying that seeing them together so much makes you sad that you're single or that you need more quiet time to get your school work done. If the significant other is spending more than one or two nights of the week sleeping in your apartment it's time to have a talk with your roommate explaining that while you love living with them, you're not interested in living with their boyfriend too. This is a good chance to blame your parents who are "so conservative that they'll freak if they find out how much they are here. If you and your roommate share the grocery bill, point out how much the bill is increasing from the extra person eating meals and snacking with you two. Worse case scenario, he stays more, but at least he chips in on paying for food.

Even the best college roommate will have some flaws so it's important to choose the flaws you can live with. You might find out that you can't stand to live with your best friend. Finding someone you actually enjoy living with is a matter of luck and understanding what you want in a roommate. If you want time alone in the apartment, find someone who works different hours than you. If you want to have parties, make sure your potential roommate is okay with that. Both of you need to be willing to compromise on most points, because that will make your college roommate experience much more enjoyable.