Spending Ideas for Those with Too Much Money

Like many people I have more ideas than money. That includes ideas on how to spend money if I had it. A fortunate few are in the opposite situation. They have no shortage of money, only a shortage of ideas on how to spend it. They have traveled the world, dined in five-star restaurants, tasted many delicacies, lodged in the best hotels and own expensive clothes, vehicles and other accoutrements of wealth--and are still buried in money.

What lives of beauty the beautiful people have. This is for those poor rich folks who have more money than they can manage or will ever need, and the people who know them. Read on for ideas on how to spend the wealth.

Fund Creation of Technology Enabling Tele-Rehearsals, Tele-Auditions, Tele-Jams and Tele-Gigs/Tele-Concerts. The technology might be mighty costly--and dearly loved by musicians, actors and other performers. For musicians it would mean less time lugging around heavy and bulky gear, and people worldwide could turn on, tune in and watch. Just set up wherever your computer and its peripherals are and you're ready to play.

Create Community Centers. The centers could provide financial education, group and individual counseling, health education, employment services, GED classes, recreational facilities, religious services and more. People could have seminars and lectures and participate in forums in the centers. The centers could be called Community Wealth Centers or Community Wellness Centers since their purpose would be improving and maintaining the collective wealth and wellness of the communities. The centers could be wholly or partly funded through donations, benefit concerts, festivals, merchandising, etc.

Create Internet Radio for Vehicles. The radio station would be like having the online radio station Pandora's Box in your vehicle. Listeners could create their own play lists. The radio station would recall their selections and expose them to similar artists and music based on those selections.

Create Interactive Television Programs. Interactive television programs would allow audiences to choose the shows' plots, dialogue and finales--and to take full responsibility when the shows require multiple cans of air freshener and airing out rooms.

Fund Genetic Engineering of A Germ That Consumes or Infects and Kills Viruses. This breakthrough would save lives, boost job productivity and reduce medical costs to individuals and employers. Whoever rids the world of viruses, especially ones such as HIV, will have bested Jonas Salk and Albert Sabin and be hailed as the best person to come along since Jesus Christ. Think of holidays, streets, buildings, etc. bearing your name, and boosting your already fabulous wealth. Hating you would be much like hating air.

Fund Development of A Process For Making Precious Stones and Metals. Scientists know little of how precious stones and metals are formed deep within the earth. They just know their formation involves extreme heat, pressure and patience. Learn and duplicate the processes and you will be the richest person who ever lived. Shield the technology and diamonds will truly be forever. So will gold, rubies, emeralds, etc. and your cash flow.

Fund Creation of Vehicles with Diagnostic Computers That Signal When Their Computers Themselves Are Failing. The computers would basically say, "I'm having an electronic brain fart. Don't trust my readings."

Provide Police Departments With Surveillance Cameras to Mount on Buildings, Bridges, Street Lights, etc. This would reduce if not eliminate burglaries, robberies, muggings, gang activity, graffiti and other crime. The cameras would also show how "taggers" avoid detection and seemingly defy gravity while spray-painting their florid art near the roofs of buildings more than two-stories high, on the outside of highway overpasses, etc.

Open A Restaurant With A Menu Based on Patrons' Reasonable Suggestions. So, a patron wants hollandaise sauce instead of mayonnaise on that hamburger? Coming right up.

Create a Website For Aspiring Fashion Designers. Members could win prizes in categories such as "Most Ridiculous Wardrobe Design" or "Please Smack Me For Wearing This." Considering the wardrobe some women model in it seems that a good measure of skill as a fashion designer is creating wardrobe that no sane woman would dare wear in public--even if she had ingested every hallucinogen on Earth.

Fund Research on Possible Medical or Commercial Use for The Disinfectant That Cockroaches Secrete. Cockroaches, which I understand have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), continuously disinfect their bodies with a chemical secretion and are said to be cleaner than cats. So, even though your place may be filthy the cockroaches in it are clean. However, they're still inedible. So put down those utensils.

Create a Natural, Vitamin-Rich Caffeinated Soda. The soda would boost energy without artificial flavoring or sweeteners and the strange ingredients in many energy drinks, ingredients that do who knows what to the body.

Fund Creation of Vehicles That Recycle Used Oil and Other Engine Fluids. Among those in the auto repair industry this innovation would be as welcome as Hitler at a peace rally. However, the industry would eventually adapt. This innovation would reduce oil prices and consumption, pollution and personal fuel costs.

Create Convenience Stores With Drive-Throughs. The stores would have signs with intercoms like those at restaurants. Customers could order there and then receive and pay for their purchases at the windows. Another benefit here is that customers in the store are less likely to see you buying those skin mags.

Restore Old Buses As Chartered Vehicles or Motor Homes. With the magic of your money yesterday's school or city bus can be today's party van and a supplemental income source.

Start Your Own Record Label and Dispatch Talent Scouts To Festivals, Bars, Night Clubs, etc. This seems so obvious you wonder why record label executives don't do this more often. Could it be that they can't afford to? If they did this then maybe they could afford it. Think about that. This would also increase the talent pool and ensure more good gigs since musicians would be mindful that talent scouts may be in the audience.

Be A Fund-Raiser For Hire. The fund raiser could be for an individual need such as surgery or a child's braces or for a group need such as disaster relief. Your compensation could be administrative fees taken from the proceeds, eliminating having to bill or charge your clients upfront.

Fund Creation of Phosphorescent Ink. This would allow people to write checks for late electric bills in the dark after their power is cut off or before daylight awaken and immediately write down ideas that arrive in dreams.

Make An Adult Film Titled Hannah Montana Gunn. If you caught that this suggested film title is a play on a Disney Channel television series title and adult film actress Lisa Pascale's stage name then good job, perverts. Adult film titles are often like that--as I understand. With a studio, cameras, production skills and a talent cast willing to say or do anything on camera for the right price you can be playboy or playgirl bunny too.

Fund Creation of A Homing Device for Possessions. This homing device could help people find lost items such as jewelry, money and the mates to their socks and prove ownership when claiming found items.

Launch A Radio Station Featuring Latin, Afro-Latin, Caribbean and African Music. My gut, eyes and ears--tools so many record label executives apparently lack--say that a huge market exists for such a radio station, especially in New York, Los Angeles, Miami, Houston, Austin ("The Berkeley of The South") and in cities throughout South Texas. I think that such a radio station entering these markets and others would receive a welcome applause.

Fund Creation of A Dishwasher With The Size and Ability To Wash Pots and Pans. Imagine being in a restaurant and receiving your order on a plate or in a bowl with residual grease or food residue or particles. Many of us would call the health department. What restaurant would keep a human dishwasher who washed everything but pots and pans and often washed inadequately, leaving remnants of past meals and desserts? Would that person deserve to be called a dishwasher and stay employed there? Of course not. We don't tolerate such incompetence from human dishwashers. However, we tolerate it from machine dishwashers. We excuse it with "Well, that's just how they work." Why should the machines--who don't have to eat or pay bills--have it easier than their human counterparts? We want, need, deserve and demand bigger and better machine dishwashers.