Spike Lee Criticizes Tyler Perry, Needs to Criticize His Own Manners
Celebrities and First Impressions, What's in a Name?
When I met screenwriter Spike Lee for the first time in 2005, I remember rushing out of a job interview trying to hurry up and get to Border's where he was signing copies of his new release, "That's My Story and I'm Sticking to It." I'm not crazy about some of his films, but I respected his entrepreneurial motives. Although the ending of "School Daze" was lame, I loved "Malcolm X" so he has had some good films to overcome his bad ones, much like Tyler Perry. But I saw Tyler Perry when I was in Jena, Louisiana, and he was polite to every single person who walked by him unlike Spike Lee.
I stood in line, wrote my name on a post-it and then when I handed the book to him, I had a big grin on my face. However, when he looked from me to the piece of paper, he frowned at my name and said, "How do you say this?" I pronounced my name (Shuh mawn tee el), he shook his head, scribbled his name and handed the book to me not even making eye contact. Before I walked away from that table, I told him, "Don't ever look at me like that again." I read the book and I didn't even enjoy it. I also found out in the book that he was also very rude to other female actors. From that moment on, I never supported another Spike Lee product again.
First impressions can leave the worst aftertaste or be the best moment for anybody, and this is why they're so important. A good first impression can also start or end a business or personal relationship. I've met many celebrities and successful entrepreneurs while freelancing and being employed by different magazines and newspapers, and while everybody else I met was friendly, one person stood out the most to me. That was Tony-award winning singer Heather Headley. She asked her publicist to call me and ask for the pronunciation of my name before we spoke, and during the entire interview, she kept stating my name. I thought it was so cool that she went out of her way to do something like that. For that reason, I was that much more of a fan of her work than I was before we talked-and that's hard to do considering I'd declared "Me Time" as my national anthem and knew almost all the words to the "In My Mind" CD.
What's in a name? We read reports all the time about how people can have resumes ignored just from an employer thinking their names are too difficult, too black, too foreign, too ghetto or too weird. But keep this in mind the next time you meet someone with an unpopular or unique name. This is his/her name. This is the name he/she grew up with. And whether you like it or not, that's not up to you. You don't have to love or hate their names to be able to work, socialize, love, like or hang out with them. All you need to do is to be able to pronounce it.
I've been on radio and book interviews where the host went to great lengths to talk about the topics that would be on the show or ask about my background and then tear my name apart, stumbling all over it no matter how many times I said it correctly. Then I've had other interviews with hosts who had the Heather Headley effect. They asked me flat out how to say it and even repeated it over and over again. That shows the level of professionalism they have as radio hosts and also paints them in a kind light to the listeners because I cringe whenever I hear someone tear up a person's name on the radio or television. About ninety percent of the time, I'm asked whether my name is French because of the last two syllables not being blended together or receive compliments, but it always strikes me strange how often people feel the need to tell me how they feel about my name (ex. "That's different" or "That's creative" instead of "How are you?"). But I'd rather have that than another Spike Lee incident because it was so unbearably unprofessional, and this is coming from someone whose name is Spike! Are you kidding me?
So the next time you meet someone, introduce yourself, ask his/her name and don't be afraid to ask this person again. And again. And again. Until you can say the name right. No cheating. Don't ask, "Do you have a nickname?" If they wanted to give you their nicknames, they'd have told you that to begin with. The name is the most important identifier of another person. It's what's on a mailbox, bills, business cards, a Web site and announced for good and bad news. And it's that person's name, whether you like it or not. So even if you don't like it, at least respect the person enough to learn it. Don't lose out on a supporter or client because you left your manners at home. And don't insult other filmmakers like Tyler Perry when you don't have it together yourself.
Published by Shamontiel
Shamontiel is the author of Round Trip and Change for a Twenty, and in mid-October became the Chicago Tribune s Digital News Editor. She works on National Travel, Health and occasionally Breaking News, and w... View profile
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15 Comments
Post a CommentI no longer remember the Spike Lee movies I watched, but remember liking most of them. A friend said he was too controversial, but I felt he was chroniciling history via his films. Very true about manners and professional jealousy.
At the end of the day Spike is upset because Tyler's numbers are larger than his ever were for his films. But Spike did force us to think, and Tyler, well, not so much. Your average fan isn't interested in St. Ana, though it looks like a great film. Spike made his own decision to move forward and make films that appeal to a White audience like 24th Hour and that film with Jodie Foster and Denzel. Those are great films by the way, but I think he lost his core audience by doing that.
Spike has made his contribution, and Tyler has made his. I do agree with Spike on his comments, but Tyler has tried to go outside of the box and his audiences refuse to support him when he does so then he dusts off Media and goes there all over again. Tyler should be given more credit. Precious was an interesting film as well, stereotypes still but a lot of people have lived that life and Tyler deserves some credit there for helping to get the word out about the film. I think he has credits on it as well for helping produce it.
Spike Lee was out of pocket. Granted if you watch the interview Spike seemed reluctant to go there and Ed Gordon kept egging him own but he knows as much to keep his mouth shut about the matter. It wasn't the right venue at all to bring it up, and unprofessional considering the event should have been positive.
Gemini, I'm going to disagree with you there. For the time that that movie came out and with the hoopla about hazing, "School Daze" was definitely on the mark. Why didn't you care for it? And why was it necessary to call Rosie Perez a "whore"? If you don't know her, it's rather disrespectful to call her out of her name. Have you even met her to talk about her like that?
Wisdom Supreme, thanks for reading. No, I definitely wasn't going to cause a big scene in Border's about him being rude. It wasn't worth all that. I wish he hadn't've signed the book though because it's not like you can get a refund after that. So I read the book, reviewed it, and then ripped that page out of the book to sell it on another book site. I made about the same amount back as I did when I bought the book so I didn't even have to worry about losing funds. I hope someday he learns. And HUGE shout-out to Tyler Perry for his donation to Haiti after that terrible earthquake!
Very interesting and eye opening article Shamontiel! I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant and unfortunate experience with Spike, it's very sad and disappointing to hear! I'm glad and happy for the way you handled it though which was in a very classy and intelligent manner in standing up for yourself and your name! I'm a firm believer that there is a lot to be said about a person's name, and it's meaning! So I try my best to honor and resepct everyone's name I hear or come across, especially when it belongs to a person of great depth, respect, love, honesty and integrity! And I believe you are one of those people sister Shamontiel. Take care and stay strong & keep up the great work!
I find it extremely odd that someone would manage to butcher the name Ann. Hell, I can remember how to spell Olson. But I definitely understand where you're coming from with people messing up names. Only perk to my name is it's so uncommon that people have to spell it right. Ironically enough, I have a blog on ChicagoNow.com and even though it clearly states Message from Montie, PEOPLE still spell my nickname Monti or Monty. As far as Spike Lee, I didn't see him crack a smile the entire time I was in line. It's almost like he's determined to be unhappy.
I've heard on many gossip sites he isn't a very pleasant man, so this doesn't surprise it. Tch, tch. Speaking of names, during my teen years I was known as Min instead of Ann. Why? Because no one would spell or even remember my name correctly...I was either called Anna, Ana or Amy. Goes to show you can have the simplest name on earth and people will still get it wrong, mostly due to their incompetence.
Somebody is going to ask me would I have said this if not for the whole name thing. Before you do, my answer is YES! I wasn't checking for some Spike Lee films before that. And the book was disturbing. He could've separated the cast of "School Daze," not put them in dingy hotels, etc. And blowing off Tisha Campbell (or was it Rosie Perez?) when they were scared to be naked, terrible. The book just put the cherry on top of the name encounter.