Spiritual Glasses to Understand the Difficult Child

Clothes on the bedroom floor, coats and shoes in the hall, wet towels dumped in the bathroom, food spills in the kitchen, food shoved in the refrigerator, missing cordless phones, pencils and pens inside the sofa cushions, lying, disobedience, answering back, bickering and chaos. Am I describing life with your difficult child?

If only we have access to a spectacle called "spiritual glasses". Will you see monster-like figures with arrow-shaped tails and horns on its head? And on the other side of your child, will you see a peaceful-looking creature with snow-white wings? The spiritual glasses allow us to see our child at the moment of decision. The spiritual glasses ensure that we understand his perspective.

The spiritual glasses also permit you to witness the battles of a child on a daily basis. For instance, one son picked up the $20 bill in Mom's bedroom. Then, he stopped. He smiled and looked at Mom's pen on the floor. He picked it up too. He put the $20 bill and pen back in Mom's purse. You think to yourself, so far so good. But wait, your son got distracted. He spotted the box underneath your bed and found your coin collection. He found 3 collectible coins and put it into his pocket. He sneaked out of the house to the neighbors. Now, you understand the excess toys in his bedroom.

You go to the next room. You proudly see your child getting the clean clothes from the dryer. With pride, you watch him folding it up just as you instructed. After a few minutes, he gets bored. He picks up the remaining unfolded clean clothes and shoves it under his other pile of dirty clothes. Now, you understand why he often complains he has nothing to wear.

Then, you go to another room in the house. You found two of your little ones wrestling with each other. The bigger child kicks his brother. The little one retaliates and lashes back. Now, you understand that chaos happens when bored and idle.

You spot your teenager pinned down on his computer chair viewing some scantily dressed women on the Internet. Now, you understand why he angrily demands that he is not getting enough privacy.

Then you hear your baby crying in the den. While you were expecting your girls to be babysitting the toddler, the "My Space" was on the computer screen and their faces were glued to it. The baby got stuck in between furniture and crying for help. Now, you understand why they gladly offer to babysit while you run your errands.

Our children are constantly in these kinds of battles. There is no guarantee that your children will always do the right thing when you are not around. And if they err, you go into a rage knowing that there is no possible excuse. For have you not explained the family rules just a few days ago? You gave them all the chances in the world. This is not the first strike. It's the nth one. Some of us punish by grounding. Some yell. Some spank. Some just freak out and lose it. Which one are you?

God has given parents the grace to have a moral yardstick in raising their children. Unless parents have some mental issues, normally the mix for discipline is a result of trial and error. God just made each children so unique that what applies to a few, cannot apply to the rest.

Wearing spiritual glasses is an ability to transcend to the reasons your child is in willful disobedience to your teachings or family rules. Without the spiritual glasses, a parent is tempted to analyze the situation from a very narrow viewpoint.

If your teenager is into pornography, he gets very irritable and cranky over little things. Without the spiritual glasses, all you complain about is his isolation, defiant behavior and inconsiderate manners. Yet, these are red flags to a much bigger problem. Is your adolescent into the early stages of teen depression?

If your child is a chronic liar, parents worry and panic. The spiritual glasses allow you to see a very insecure child with poor self concept or image. Are your expectations of him too high? Why does he feel worthless? Is he bullied around by friends or older siblings?

For your younger children showing tantrums and hitting other siblings, the spiritual glasses permit you to see a child struggling to deal with his immature emotions. The child's frustration is his inability to communicate his feelings and needs to his siblings.

Each day the child is confronted with choices. He struggles to make a good decision and be accountable for it. With clear expectations, the child may be guided. But, often times his battles confuse him. He reacts contrary to what we hope for. The decision a child eventually makes is frustrating to an already stressed out parent. Then, parents label their child as difficult. Caution yourself to judge the situation immediately. When these happens, take deep breaths and keep your spiritual glasses close at hand.

Do not let your child go to the battles unarmed. Stay tuned to the next upcoming article on spiritual armors for your child at Catholic Blended Family Series.

To learn more tips on how to raise your children in your blended family, join our discussion group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/catholicblendedfamilies/ or www.mrstreasures.com/blogs.