Splitting Household Chores in a Marriage

A common problem in a marriage or couples who are living together often stems around who is (or isn't) doing housework. These days, it's less common for the wife to stay at home, watch the kids and take care of the house. It can be tough when both people in the relationship are working to get stuff done around the house in such a way where both of you feel as if the other is pitching in enough. If you can't seem to get your husband to do the dishes or your wife to mop the floor, the two of you need to sit down and figure out how to get the chores done around the house.

Sit down and make a list of all the things that need to be done on both a regular and semi-regular basis and agree on who is going to do what chore. There may be one thing you don't mind doing that your husband or wife hates. There also may be something that the other person has more time to do or does better.

For example, I hate doing the dishes. I don't know why. I just hate it. It's probably because this new house we moved into doesn't have a dishwasher and I'm used to doing dishes with one. My husband and I agreed that if he does the dishes, I'll put them away when he's done. We also agreed that I would do the laundry. It makes more sense because I work from home it's easier for me to switch from the washer to the dryer. He then puts his clothes away after I fold them and put them on top of the dresser.

If you can't agree on who is responsible for what chore, start taking turns picking one from the list until there's nothing left to choose from. That's a fair way to go about it.

By having the chores set so you know who's responsible for what chore, it makes the house run smoother. This way, you're not arguing over who does what chores and how often. If the dishes aren't done or the floor isn't mopped, you will know who needs to do it without either waiting for the other person to step up or having an argument about it.

Be fair. So, if you work less hours than your partner, it may be fair for you to do a little bit more of the housework. Try doing things together. If one of you is doing dishes, the other could be cleaning the fridge or the stove. For the chores that only need to be done on a weekly basis, they could be done in an hour if you both do them together the same time every week. It's actually a lot more pleasant to do chores when you're doing them together.

Whatever you decide, the important thing is you both agree on how and when they get done. You'll find life to be much more enjoyable and you'll argue less often about things you really don't need to be arguing about.